I am sorry that I haven't posted anything for ten days! I am sorry to myself mostly. Not many people ever read my blog. But I have found that by writing in this journal, I am more contemplative, more thoughtful, and I am more focused. My values and judgments seem straighter.
Today, a man I went to high school with, Darrell Bolin, wrote this in facebook:
"These are the days".... Some good, others bad.... Would I change anything....? Nah, As fire shapes metal, so does life shape us.... Control your fire, and fan the flames gently.... Have a wonderful day, and, um, I'll try and behave....
This comment has so much within it. An acceptance of life as it is. Not spending time filled with regret. I can accept my life, accept wrongdoings done to me, and my own wrongdoings as well. Life is what it is.
Life shaped me. It forged me into who I am. What I do from here on is my responsibility, and my opportunity. I can choose to love or hate. I can care or ignore. I can reach out, or sit in my armchair.
I have a fire. My fire of life. It still burns brightly. My passion for life is strong. My body may be crapping out, but my heart knows what it knows.
I can choose to fan my fire carefully, keep it strong, use that fuel to live a life I want. Or I can whip that fire into a frenzy and burn out way too soon. I like the steady flame metaphor.
So no. I would not change a thing. Regrets? A boatload. But I wouldn't change a thing. If I could change anything is how my actions and my words affected others. But I wouldn't change me.
So to anyone reading this, "Have a wonderful day, and, um, I'll try and behave.... " David
As always, your thoughts and comments are appreciated. Feel free to respond! :-)
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Monday, June 16, 2014
Father's Day recap
The veranda was cleaned and vacuumed. The house was clean and neat. The kitched was stocked with wonderful smells and tantalizing delights.
Rita and I had the salads prepared the day before. Sister Linda brought the appetizers. Sister Susie brought the ice, brats, and some other stuff. Sean brought the beer.
My job was to barbeque the chicken breasts and brats. Never had brats, but my big brother Mike raved about them earlier. I cleaned the barbeque for the grilling season. Turned on the burners. Worked fine. I was ready for the grilling.
Everybody showed up. I got set to start the grill. Turned on the gas, lit the fire, and hardly any flame was there. Ugh. No such thing as problems, only opportunities!
Into the house I went to put the chicken under the broiler. And to my pleasant surprise, in comes my son Sean. How wonderful! We talked. Just talked. It was really nice. No one else, just the two of us. It made my whole day. So what if the barbeque crapped out? I got to talk to Sean. Nice.
The food was finished, bellies were filled, and talk flowed. Jokes told. Love passed around from person to person. I could not have asked for a better Father's Day.
Unless my own dad was there. Missed him. Someday we will meet again. Someday. David
Rita and I had the salads prepared the day before. Sister Linda brought the appetizers. Sister Susie brought the ice, brats, and some other stuff. Sean brought the beer.
My job was to barbeque the chicken breasts and brats. Never had brats, but my big brother Mike raved about them earlier. I cleaned the barbeque for the grilling season. Turned on the burners. Worked fine. I was ready for the grilling.
Everybody showed up. I got set to start the grill. Turned on the gas, lit the fire, and hardly any flame was there. Ugh. No such thing as problems, only opportunities!
Into the house I went to put the chicken under the broiler. And to my pleasant surprise, in comes my son Sean. How wonderful! We talked. Just talked. It was really nice. No one else, just the two of us. It made my whole day. So what if the barbeque crapped out? I got to talk to Sean. Nice.
The food was finished, bellies were filled, and talk flowed. Jokes told. Love passed around from person to person. I could not have asked for a better Father's Day.
Unless my own dad was there. Missed him. Someday we will meet again. Someday. David
Thursday, June 12, 2014
A perspective on Father's Day
Last night Rita and I were preparing for a family get-together for Father's Day. The invitations were called in, the meal was planned. Who is bringing what. What cleaning and organizing we need to do. Where we will all sit. Etc. Etc.
When it was done I sat in a bit of reverie, longing for the days when I took the boys camping and fishing. Longing for that innocence and love. We are all grown up now. Even me.
I started going down the road of regrets. Of hurts. Of pain. Of bad choices. Of missed opportunities. It can be overwhelming.
I chased my reverie back into a more positive thought process. Dragging myself down does me no good. It certainly doesn't help. Don't get me wrong. Remembering my errors, my bad choices, can help me from doing them again. But getting into a funk can be harmful. So I remember it with a large dose of the good stuff too. A broader picture of myself, of my kids, where we are, and where we are going. There are many things I would change if I could, but I can't.
I started thinking of my own dad. I wish I had known him better. Oh the regrets start to rear their ugly heads again. So I think of the good times.
Of catching and cooking up my first fish. Of making "tractors" out of Mom's wooden thread spools, a match stick, a button, and a rubber band. Oh the fun.
I remember my chickens. And the ducks. And my hamster. And my fish tank. It goes on.
I remember Dad waking me up many times at four AM so I could get my newspaper route done before going to school. Dad was proud of me.
In the same way, I am so very proud of all my kids. They make choices that I worry about. But I am proud of them all. Every one. Each has his or her own struggles they have to get through, but it will hone them. I worry and pray. But I am proud.
There are things of my own childhood I would change, but it would have changed me. Who I am now. And this is where God wants me to be.
I am proud of myself, too.
Saturday will be fun. Memories relived. Jokes told. Politics discussed. Bellies filled. Beer consumed. All in all, life is pretty damn good. David
When it was done I sat in a bit of reverie, longing for the days when I took the boys camping and fishing. Longing for that innocence and love. We are all grown up now. Even me.
I started going down the road of regrets. Of hurts. Of pain. Of bad choices. Of missed opportunities. It can be overwhelming.
I chased my reverie back into a more positive thought process. Dragging myself down does me no good. It certainly doesn't help. Don't get me wrong. Remembering my errors, my bad choices, can help me from doing them again. But getting into a funk can be harmful. So I remember it with a large dose of the good stuff too. A broader picture of myself, of my kids, where we are, and where we are going. There are many things I would change if I could, but I can't.
I started thinking of my own dad. I wish I had known him better. Oh the regrets start to rear their ugly heads again. So I think of the good times.
Of catching and cooking up my first fish. Of making "tractors" out of Mom's wooden thread spools, a match stick, a button, and a rubber band. Oh the fun.
I remember my chickens. And the ducks. And my hamster. And my fish tank. It goes on.
I remember Dad waking me up many times at four AM so I could get my newspaper route done before going to school. Dad was proud of me.
In the same way, I am so very proud of all my kids. They make choices that I worry about. But I am proud of them all. Every one. Each has his or her own struggles they have to get through, but it will hone them. I worry and pray. But I am proud.
There are things of my own childhood I would change, but it would have changed me. Who I am now. And this is where God wants me to be.
I am proud of myself, too.
Saturday will be fun. Memories relived. Jokes told. Politics discussed. Bellies filled. Beer consumed. All in all, life is pretty damn good. David
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Its amazing how things work together. People and food. Go figure.
Have you ever stopped to think about spaghetti sauce? Did you ever think about the ingredients?
Think of it this way. A piece of cooked hamburger without seasoning. Certainly good, and good for you, but just not all that good. Or a piece of bell pepper? How about a piece of garlic?
How about a cooked spaghetti noodle? On its own, bland. Not much too it. It is certainly good for you, but just not all that.
If you think of all the ingredients in a good sauce, none can stand on its own. Nothing is the primary ingredient. You may say the tomato, but on its own, delicious, but not even close to what spaghetti sauce achieves.
To make a good sauce you have to have it all. Lean hamburger. Onions. Mushrooms. I like black olives, gotta have em'. Fresh garlic. Good oregano. Maybe a little sugar to balance the sauce. I could go on.
Hopefully you get the idea. Each ingredient on its own is nothing compared to what they achieve together.
We humans are that way. One person on their own can certainly have their own personality, or flavor if you will. But two together, with a common goal, can bring a zest and spice to each others lives they never would have alone.
A group of people with common interests can achieve great things. A church or a business can flourish with good leadership. Man can land on the moon. Send exploration vehicles to Mars.
Its amazing how things work together. People and food. Go figure. David
Think of it this way. A piece of cooked hamburger without seasoning. Certainly good, and good for you, but just not all that good. Or a piece of bell pepper? How about a piece of garlic?
How about a cooked spaghetti noodle? On its own, bland. Not much too it. It is certainly good for you, but just not all that.
If you think of all the ingredients in a good sauce, none can stand on its own. Nothing is the primary ingredient. You may say the tomato, but on its own, delicious, but not even close to what spaghetti sauce achieves.
To make a good sauce you have to have it all. Lean hamburger. Onions. Mushrooms. I like black olives, gotta have em'. Fresh garlic. Good oregano. Maybe a little sugar to balance the sauce. I could go on.
Hopefully you get the idea. Each ingredient on its own is nothing compared to what they achieve together.
We humans are that way. One person on their own can certainly have their own personality, or flavor if you will. But two together, with a common goal, can bring a zest and spice to each others lives they never would have alone.
A group of people with common interests can achieve great things. A church or a business can flourish with good leadership. Man can land on the moon. Send exploration vehicles to Mars.
Its amazing how things work together. People and food. Go figure. David
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