My moments of grace

Every now and then God gives us a glimpse into heaven.  Somewhere in our lives we can see moments of absolute peace and serenity.  There are moments of unbridled joy.  We all have our moments of absolute humility.  I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
When I was sixteen, I was a sophomore in high school.  About 1971.  I had been raised by a mother that dutifully schlepped me off to church every Sunday.  I had all the Sunday school teaching a kid should have.  I had recently finished my confirmation class and I was accepted as a member of the church.  We studied the book of Matthew in depth.  I had heard the stories, but this was a real, in depth, look at the life of Jesus.  There was real meaning in that book.  It struck a chord.
In the late sixties and early seventies there was the "Jesus movement".  Maranatha and all that.  The Jesus freaks.  Long hair, bell bottoms, dangling peace signs, love beads. 
I went to a concert put on by the Christian group in school.  I was interested in them.  Mostly because there was a cute girl there, Rene Plum.  Fifty years later I find out she is a minister in Norco.  But I digress.
During the concert, Christ spoke to me through this band.  They spoke of Christ's love.  Of forgiveness.  Of peace, true peace.  I got wrapped up in that message.  Right then and there I gave my life to Christ.  I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior.  It was a life changing event.
So my identity was now, David Meese, Son of Hal and Billie, Brother to Mike and Linda, Christian church member, and child of Christ.
At that moment, I was given a cross I could count on.  I could lean on.  I could rest on.  I could use as an anchor when the world was swirling around me.  My salvation. 
At times it seemed like my life was filled with anger, resentment, jealousy, etc.  I would stray away from the cross.  I would put on the pretend face of a Christian, wanting people to like me, to think well of me.  But my back was to the cross.
Then another life changing event would come crashing down.  Talk about sin.  I really screwed up.  Big time.  I lost my marriage, I lost my ability to see my kids for a while, and I lost their respect.  But, even with all that, that cross was still there.  Waiting for me.  He still loved me. 
A simple prayer, and I knew I would be okay.  But it came with heavy responsibilities.  I had to account for my actions.  I had to pay a penance.  I had to atone.  I had to learn.  I had to humble myself. 
My children still love me.  But it haunts them from time to time.  That phrase in the Bible where it says the sins of the father shall be visited upon the son is so true.  Hopefully, they have seen the sin, seen the atonement, seen some humility, and forgiven.  They say they have forgiven me.  I hope that is true.
So.  My moments of grace.  When I accepted Christ.  When I was with my newborn children (there is nothing quite like holding a newborn baby).  Camping in the wilderness, I would have moments alone with the stars, seeing Gods hand in the universe, that first time I talked to Rita and found that unbelievable connection.  I could go on and on.  Each one of these are glimpses into heaven.  Peace.  Serenity.  Joy.  Forgiveness.  Grace.  Contentment.
If I had not strayed, if I had not atoned, if I had not repented, if I did none of that, Rita and I would not be together today.  God had a plan for me.  I learned the hard way, but I learned, and I am so very glad of it.
Thank you Jesus for being my Rock.  I am yours.  David