Looking in the mirror

I found this on facebook.  Pretty much sums it up for me.


Everything you do is based on the choices you make.  It's not your parent, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame.  You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. 


Period.


Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?  David

two by fours

Now and then I find myself realizing just how much of a curmudgeon I can be.  As I get older I am more certain of what I like, what I want, how things should be, etc. etc.
Gets pretty tough to be around.  No I don't like that.  I want this.  We should do this not that.  You get the idea. 
It makes it pretty hard to get a word in edgewise when the person you love doesn't listen.  It makes it tough when you feel your thoughts, wants, needs are not considered.
I get that.  I want my thoughts, wants, needs considered too. 
I can be pretty demonstrative.  I don't want to do that.  I spent many years where my wants and needs were totally disregarded and even belittled.
So.  Today.  I am going to work on that.  I want to listen more.  I WANT to know what my sweetheart wants and needs.  Its important to me.  She is important to me.
This is where the two by four comes into play.  Now and then, I need a virtual (not real) two by four up side the head. 
If you are wondering if Rita and I had some big argument, not even close.  She was down and upset, and we talked.  But it became clear to me that I need to listen more. 
The good Lord gives us what we need.  Rita is just what I need.  And I need to cherish, honor, and listen to her more.  What an opportunity!  David

Meester Fleester

Some of the common threads throughout my blog are my love and affection for my wife and a deep abiding appreciation for this time on earth the good Lord has given me.  For my many, many blessings.
I have become aware of the deep differences between me and my cat, Meester Fleester.  Don't get me wrong, he is a great cat.  Very affectionate.  Funny.  Sweet sometimes.
But Fleester is a true narcissist.  "I want my food.  Pet me.  I want it now.  Leave me alone.  Do it now.  I am going to sit in your lap now.  Time for a bath."
The earth revolves around him.  Heck, the sun rises and sets for him.  If you were to ask him, he would tell you he is the "I am." 
Now its time for him to kill that imaginary fly.  Funny cat.  David

Shannon

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Still trying to figure this blog out....

The office is coming along!

After the Christmas rush, Rita and I reflect upon the previous year, how we handled the rush, and what we can do better next year.  Several things came to mind.
Currently, our doll making area is primarily in the dining room, with a photoshop in the living room, and another computer in the office.  It has worked pretty well for us, but as our business grows, we need to consolidate and have as much in one area as we can.  After much deliberation, we have decided to try moving into the office.  As we looked at the area in the dining room we currently use, the square footage is greater than the dining room.  It just doesn't feel like it.  The dining room is more open and the office is a closed in bedroom. 
Not to get into the nuts and bolts of it, but we can make it work, as long as we can maintain good lighting, and keep fresh air circulating. 
I think we have it all figured out.  I hope. 
Rita will finally have a computer that is hers alone.  That she can use whenever she needs.  She can communicate with the buyers, purchase doll clothes, etc.  It will make things much easier.
Once we have accomplished all that, its time to look at other places in our lives that need consolidation, cleaning up, better light and fresh air.
Maybe a trip to the mountains is in order!  David

Where is my steak?

All my life I have been fortunate to have a dog or two in my life.  I don't believe I ever lived without one.  Ever.
From my childhood twenty-three year old buddy Blackie, to Peanut, Punkin, Shasta, Cody, Zinger, Daisymae, and more recently Ladybug, Turbo, and Mookie.  Each played a role in shaping who I am today.  Each gave me comfort and joy.  Sometimes solace.
The canine friend I am writing of today is Norman.  A buff cocker spaniel that had the patience of Job, the sweet loving a mother would give her child, the fence fighting ferociousness of a stick of butter.  He would fence fight with another dog, as long as it wasn't too big.  If it was too scary, he would hide behind me and bark.
Ah, the love though.  There was none better than Normie.  I was single, living alone.  I would come home from a long day at work, tired, frustrated, and worn out.  At the door, everyday, I was greeted with love.  Everyday.  No matter what.
I was working the graveyard shift and often, on my days off, I would spend my time off awake in the wee hours of the morning.  Not much to do then.  So I would put a small fire in the chiminea, sit in my camping chair, prop my feet up by the fire, turn on a light and read.  Normie would be at my side in his small bed.  Its amazing how quiet it is at two in the morning.  I loved the solace.  He was always at my side.
But what ever I did, wherever I went, Norman would be there (except work of course).  Saturday mornings would be spent having coffee with my friend Larry, and Norman would tag along.  We would go to Charlie's Chili in Newport Beach, eat an omelet, and smell the ocean.  Normie would be there.
Normie would sit in the car, waiting to go bye-bye while I worked on the brakes.  Fully expecting to leave.  He would not leave until we drove around the block.
Larry and I took a weeklong trip to Death Valley in an off-roading experience I will never forget.  Norman sat in the backseat, just happy to be there.  He became our honorary navigator.  No matter what, he was happy to be there.  Just to get a treat and some good belly rubbing. 
Even in my darkest times, he was there.  How could I be sad when Norman was there to make me laugh? 
It turned out, that Norman was a big part of why Rita and I got together.  As we courted, we discovered our common fondness for our favorite author, Dean Koontz, and buff cocker spaniels.  If she had not loved Norman, and I had not loved Ladybug, we never would have gotten married. 
That's a deal breaker for me.  If you don't love my dog, something is not right.
I am not sure if I have conveyed how much he meant to me.  But he was my saving grace at a tough time in my life.  He was my comedian.  He was the reason to come home.  He was my foot warmer.  He was my buddy.
And, he stole my filet mignon steak.  Off the counter.  Before I could even cook it.  Oh well, if it was to go to someone else, I guess it should be Normie.  Miss you buddy.  David

Politics

Those that know me well are aware of my love for politics (or hatred....).  I read up every day who is doing what, laws passed, money spent, on and on.  It is sort of a passion.  I can rant and rave when I get a mind to, but this blog is not the place. 
This blog helps to keep me grounded.  For me, it is a daily reminder of what is important to me.  God, my wonderful wife, family, friends, our customers, paying the bills.  Pretty much in that order.  Politics is way down the list.  Besides, I can only vote now and then.  It doesn't pay to be frustrated at a politician, when everything else is doing well.
My political philosophies are varied.  You might think you could peg me with a certain label, but I don't fit into any political hole.  There are things about the party that I am associated with that I am deadset against.  I am proud of that.  I have my own mind.
With politics, players change, ideologies vary, and the focus of our country seems to waver from time to time.  This is not true with God, my wife, my family, friends, our customers, or paying the bills.  That never changes.  Never.
It may seem kind of boring, but it is my rock that I lean on.  I depend on.  I rely on.  Politics is just that.  Politics.  Fun to watch, important to be aware of, but its not all that.  David
PS I can't wait for the next election!

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Yes. Its Mert.

All of us gathered at sister Susie's house yesterday.  After hanging up her new TV and failing to hang a shelf for the DVR, we enjoyed our enchiladas a la Mert.  It was fun, and it was good.  Not as good as my memory, but the specialness of the day made it all work. 
We finished the evening with a fire in the outdoor firepit,  and as the fire grew into coals, we each toasted our marshmallows and had s'mores. 
I could not have asked for a nicer evening.  Good food, love, conversation, humor, and Mike claiming to be the King of the Fire.  Clearly he is the king.  He needs to be king of something,  Might as well be that!
I am blessed with so much in my life.  It is overwhelming how much He loves me.  How much He loves my family.  Thanks Jesus.  David
PS I still don't know who Mert is. 

Mert?

In my childhood, our family would have occasional get-togethers with neighbors and family.  The neighbor family, the Childs, and Auntie Dot, Uncle Chris, and the cousins would come over for "Enchiladas a la Mert." 
This was much more than just coming over for dinner.  The lawn was mowed to allow many games of red light green light, statue maker, mother-may-I, etc.  The picnic table, card table, etc. were set up for the feast.  Maybe some festive decorations.  It was truly a party.
There was a feeling of anticipation in the air.  We all knew it would be an epic evening.  The womenfolk would be busy in the kitchen slaving away to prepare our wonderful feast.  The men might have a beer or two and talk shop.  We kids would have the most fun playing in the yard.
There was no such thing as watching TV while company was here.  No video games.  No electronic media to take us away from interacting with one another.  It was a grand time.
A nice summer evening, with friends, neighbors, and family.  Sweet.
Finally, it was Time.  No really.  It was Time.  The call went out for dinner.  Now, keep in mind, our usual dinners of this sort were with the food on the table, we all sit down together, say grace, and please pass the chicken.
Not with Enchiladas a la Mert.  You waited in line for your plate.  Each plate was made with love, an artwork of its own.  It was a beautiful sight to behold (I do like my food....).  A fried corn tortilla, then a layer of chili (nothing special, Denisons or Hormel). another tortilla, more chili, and maybe another layer if you were one of the big guys.  Topped off with one or two beautiful fried eggs.  With some "dippy" in them so when you cut in the yolk runs into the chili.  All garnished with a beautiful arrangement of green lettuce around the edge of the plate.  There was Gebhardts hot sauce for the Dads, and us kids could put on tomato sauce or ketchup if we wanted.  I was more of a purist.  Commando for me.  Nothing else could make that feast better.
Ah, the memories.  My brother Mike, sister Susie, and I all reminisced about our memories and decided we needed to do it again.  We will descend upon Susie's house on Saturday for a reprise of this awesome dish.  I can't wait.
I am sure the lawn will be mowed.  Maybe I can organize some Simon Says.  David
PS  No one really knows for sure who or what Mert is.  But he, she, or it, is memorialized in our culinary remembrances forever.  D

Where are you?

This is where I am supposed to be.  Right here.  Are you where you are supposed to be?
I ask this as I reflect upon my last few years.  It seems there was a planetary alignment centered around me.  I was in the absolute wrong place a while back.
Hiding from God, pursued by my own demons, running frantically trying to keep up, scared, hurt, angry, tired, I did not know what to do.
My house of cards I had built came crashing down.  Embarrassment, humiliation, loneliness, and no one to turn to.
The good Lord knew this would happen.  It was destined.  I needed to learn.  I needed to appreciate what I have, find confidence within myself, pick myself up, and face my demons,  I had to face my actions.  I had to take responsibility for hurting those I love.
It has taken a long time.  Its not over yet.  But I have learned.  I learned there are things I can do to make sure I don't get into that place again..  There are people I can talk to.  There are people I can trust. 
And.  As always.  I can trust in Him. 
So, are you where you need to be?  Are there things haunting you?  Have you hurt loved ones?  There are things you can do.  There are people you can talk to.
Don't wait until your house of cards comes crashing down.  Don't wait.  It takes courage.  It takes humility.  But it is so very much worth it.  I promise.  David

All the worlds a stage....

It has become easier for me to see how what I do has an impact.  As I get older, I see other people, and have much more empathy than I used to.  It feels good.
Once again, our dolls have touched others and through them it has touched me. 
Recently, we sold a reborn doll to a family in San Bernardino.  Not too far from us.  They paid, placed the order, and asked if they could pick up the doll to save on shipping.  Of course we were happy to.
The doll was completed and I delivered it to the husband.  We met at a midpoint for both of us.  Mario told me of his daughter.  He was so very proud.  His daughter wanted a reborn very badly, and they told her if she could keep her grades up for three years (three years!) they would buy her one. 
After her last report card, she came to her mother and smiled and said, "its been three years!"  She immediately went to our eBay store and chose the one she wanted.  She has been looking at our dolls for three years!  Kind of amazing. 
Her mother called and spoke with Rita.  After a nice long conversation, Rita was nearly in tears.  How special that phone call made her feel.  This little doll, was a reward for lots of homework, and diligence from a girl in middle school.  Middle school!  How any one can survive middle school much less succeed is beyond me. 
I am proud that we were able to be a small part of honoring this young girls efforts.  It was fun meeting her daddy. 
We made an impact.  I am grateful to be able to do that.  David

No Shower????

Last night Rita and I watched "Live from space" on the National Geographic channel.  It was nothing short of amazing.  Stunning.  Scary.  Yucky.  Adventuresome.  I could go on and on.  In fact I just did.
This program was a live conversation with a woman on the ground in Houston at the command center.  She became our outer space tour guide.  She interviewed a couple of astronauts that had spent time on the space station recently.  In fact one had just gotten home four days earlier!
This program was able to talk live with three astronauts that are currently in the space station two hundred and fifty miles above the earth.  Zero gravity.  They floated around and showed us some amazing things. 
During the two hour program we circled the earth with them one and a half times.  They travel at seventeen thousand miles and hour.  Mind boggling.
The scenery we saw was awesome.  They started over eastern Russia, and in a few minutes we were over Hawaii!  During the program we tracked our movement over the earth.
Viewers were able to chat with the host and ask questions of the astronauts.  Live.  Of course they asked about the toilet facilities.  Too small for me.  And bathing.  They get no showers.  At all.  Zip.  Nada.  Zilch.  For six months.  They wipe off with towelettes.  Ugh.
They showed some of the experiments they were working on.  Like developing new medicines that can pinpoint cancer cells and leave the other cells alone.  And ants. They were studying weightless ness on ants.  Not sure the benefit there, but who knows.   And its always fun to watch ants.
They spend a lot of their time up there working.  But they get some down time.  They watch movies and read.  One of them watched the new space flick Gravity with Sandra Bullock.  I don't think I could do that.
What about claustrophobia?  What about homesickness?  You just can't walk out the door and go home.  They are able to talk to family and friends on an almost daily basis, but they look out the window and see home.  Every day.
I admire these brave and adventuresome souls.  I don't want to be them.  I appreciate that I got a glimpse of what they do.  But, I like my back porch, I like my coffee pot using fresh, non-recycled water.  And I like my shower.  David

Things are better now!

I spent a good part of yesterday cleaning the office.  Shredding bills etc, sweeping, neatening things up a bit.  As I was going through a pile of bills from five or six years ago (they were put in a desk that never really got looked at) I had a glimpse of where we were financially back then.  This was not long after I had my triple bypass open heart surgery.  I lost my job as a result.  Things got tough.
I found overdue bills, disconnection notices, threats from creditors.  Emotionally it put me back in that frame of mind.  Each day I would worry.  We juggled payments.  We prayed.  We worked hard for a few dollars to pay the bills and eat.  My Rita is wonderful at stretching a dollar. 
We never went hungry.  A few creditors got pretty fussy.  But we survived.  With confidence in our God given talents, perseverance, and hope, we embarked upon this doll making Little Darlins Nursery business. 
Sometimes we would sell a doll and make only ten dollars for a full days work by both of us.  Two days work.  Ten dollars.  But it was ten more than we started with.  It helped.  Other times we would make a little more. 
When we would go to the store, we would keep an eye out on the sides of the road looking for firewood to heat the house.  I kept a saw in the back so I could cut pieces to fit in the back of the Suburban.  We always seemed to find enough to keep the fireplace going.  I think He was watching out for us. 
We would make a pot of beans to stretch our meals.  Pretty good eating for cheap.  Much better that air sandwiches.
We stretched every penny.  We rolled up our change to pay bills a few times.  Or put gas in the truck so I could see Kyle.
We held yard sales.  We put our wares out on the main road hoping for a few bucks.  Sometimes I would get nothing.  Kind of disheartening.
But!  With hard work, perseverance, dedication, penny pinching, and faith that He would see us through, we made it.
Today, our bills are paid each month.  We have a full freezer and pantry.  We have stock for the business. 
Most importantly, we have return business.  People like what we do and come back.  That is empowering.  A customer that bought a $500 doll from Norway last year, came back for another one.  She has confidence in us.  That feels really good.
Thank you to our customers, to our family, to our friends, and most important, to God.  David

Little David is looking out the window again.

As a child, my report cards would often state something like, "David seems to be easily distracted and not focused on his schoolwork."  More often than not my grades suffered.  I found it very hard to stay on track when studying. 
Unless the subject matter really interested me, I found it extremely difficult to focus.  The response from teachers, parents, etc. was just for me to try harder.  When your brain is not wired the same as others, it doesn't work that way.
I wasn't until I was an adult, studying what I wanted to study, that learning came easier for me.  I think my brain was able to settle down some and see patterns and systems more fully.  It started to make sense.  When I went back to college, I got straight A's. 
So, if you have a child with ADD or ADHD, have patience.  It may take a while for their brain to mature.  That child is not stupid, nor lazy, but just not wired like other folks.  God doesn't make junk.  It takes time.
An article I just read was from an adult with ADHD.  He said, "never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.”
I have found that those that love me, get it.  My Rita, gets it.  We can be talking out on the veranda for our morning coffee, and in the middle of the conversation, and I am distracted by a pretty bird.  I love that.  But, I have learned to be more aware of the conversation, and to get back to it.  What she says is important to me.
Have patience.  Its just little old 6 ' 6" me.  David

Its yours!

One of my favorite sayings I got from Dr. Phil.  Often at the end of each show he will say something like, "its a great day, make it yours!" 
I just love that.  Each day we have the opportunity to remake ourselves.  Each day is a unit unto itself. 
You can choose to be friendly.
You can choose to be helpful.
You can choose to hide yourself from others.
You can reach out.
You can go though your day just like all the others and be bored.
You can choose to find excitement.
You can sing.
You can be grumpy.


Oh, the list goes on and on.  You get the idea.  I choose THIS day, to love my wife, to smile more, to flirt a little.  I choose THIS day to listen more and talk less.


Its my day dammit.  God made it for me.  Little old me.  Its mine.  I choose to make it a good one!  David

A small world

It seems my big brother has been on my mind a lot lately.  He is often a part of my conversations with Rita.
After we reconnected, it was fun discovering all the many similarities in our lives.  Mike and I love business.  We love politics (thank goodness we mostly agree!).  We love the outdoors.  We love sports.  We love fishing.  The list goes on and on.
We have a few differences though.  He likes broccoli and brussels sprouts.   I like asparagus.  Go figure.
Last night though, I discovered a difference that shocked me.  He likes the Disney "Its a small world."  Holy canarski Batman!
Don't get me wrong.  The ride is fine.  The dolls are cute and animated.  The international theme is commendable.  I loved taking my daughters to Small World when they were young.  Seeing a little girls eyes light up, is an awesome experience.
Its that awful song.  I would rather listen to screeching chalk on the chalkboard.  It gets in your head and STAYS there.  For weeks.  Its worse than waterboarding!  UGH!
I tried to convince him that song was a communist plot to soften our young children's minds and make them more susceptible to propaganda.  He would have nothing of it.  He likes it.
Oh well.  His high patriarchal mantle has slipped a bit.  Maybe even rusted. 
Maybe he is just getting mushy in his golden years.  Oh well.  David 

Did we win?

Yesterday I wrote that my brother Mike and his wife Linda were coming over.  They brought over some really nice cabinets that they had replaced in their kitchen.  After getting a good look at them they will be perfect when we move our doll making facility into the office.  We have been planning this for several months now.
I have found that, often, change is good simply for the sake of change.  It gives new perspective, revitalizes enthusiasm, keeps the mind focused.  I have a hard time doing the same thing over and over.  I need mental stimulation. 
This move will bring several things together for us.  All our supplies will be more organized and readily available.  Writing orders for more will be simpler because we will know exactly what we have. 
But the best part, is Rita will have her own computer.  We have two computers now, one in the office and one in the dining room where we currently make the dolls.  They are both where I sit.  In order for her to use one, she had to displace me in the dining room or go into the office.  A hassle for both of us.
I am hopeful that our production will be more streamlined and it will make the dining room much nicer.  Instead of being full of stuff like my sewing machine and Rita's doll paints, it will have a tablecloth and centerpiece.  The doll clothes will be in a closet instead of hanging on a rack in the living room.  I am looking forward to that! 
So, for now, my restless brain has something new to do.  Organize, improvise, adapt, find an new way to make things work. 


As far as last night goes, we ate, we played, we talked, and we laughed.  Mike and I had the lead in pinochle, I was thinking this would be a walk in the park.  But no!  The girls came up to tie us at the end and took the final hand.  AAAAUUUGGGHHH!


To summarize last night, we lost at cards, but won in life.  I can live with that.  David

Time spent

Often, in this blog, I write of my own personal enjoyment of the little things in life.  I am grateful I can appreciate the little things in life.  A pretty morning, birds chirping, a good cuppa coffee.
Today, there will be something much more special.  My big brother and his wife are coming over for dinner and cards. 
The house is decorated nicely.  Everything is clean.  The food will be great.  But the best part, is seeing Mike and Linda.  Mike and I were estranged for many years.  In the past few years, we have come back together as a family. 
It feels good.  It feels right.  I missed him terribly.
He is still the grumpy old curmudgeon, giving everyone his wisdom whether we want it or not.  That is his due.  He is the patriarch now.  And I am glad to have him back.
This world can be pretty tough if you have no one that loves you.  I am so damned lucky.  I have my wife, my sister, my kids, friends, and now Mike.
My life just seems fuller with him around.  I often find myself wondering what Mike would do in certain situations.  We are very different in many ways, yet we are very much the same.  I could go on and on explaining that, but just know, I value his judgment. 
I don't always follow it, but I value it.
Mom and Dad are gone.  Some of my classmates are gone.  We are getting older.  Life seems shorter, Time is so very much of the essence. 
Time, the gift He has given me.  Today, I will spend my time enjoying my brother and his wife.  I will spend my time, enjoying the gift of love He has given me through him. 
Its gonna be fun.  David

enthusiasm

I just love it when we get a customer that is excited!  It translates into my own energy and enthusiasm.  The days just fly by.   I just love making dolls with Rita!  Who woulda thunk I would spend my days making dolls and enjoying it?  David

A shout out and a hint!

Often my blogs have nothing whatsoever to do with dolls.  I found that just gets plain boring for some people.  I wanted this blog to be a way for people to get to know us a little bit more.  No complaining, just life.
Today, though, I am compelled to bring up dolls.  And our customers.  When we first started our business, we did it on a shoestring and a prayer.  We asked the Good Lord to bless our efforts, and to use our dolls to bless our customers.  He said YES!. 
Our dolls have gone to abuse victims, mothers of little ones that died, mothers of babies that have grown and moved away, little girls wanting to nurture, the list goes on and on.  I had no idea when we started what He could do with Rita's talent and our hard work.  I am still amazed.
Sunday, we sold a doll at auction.  Now this story is not nearly so dramatic as those I just wrote about.  But it was fun none the less.
We sold a doll at auction.  Usually our dolls are at a set price, buy it now, no hassle with auctions.  But during our slower months (January, February, March, June, July, August), we will put up a doll at auction.  We start them at a very low price and hope for the best.  One reason we do this is auctions generate a LOT of interest.  It brings customers into our eBay store and they can look through all we have to offer.
So, the hint is, if you want one of our dolls at a lower price, the best way is to watch for our auctions!  Bidding on an auction is fun and you can get quite a deal!  Just be careful not to get too far into it and overspend.  Its easy to do.  I have done it. 
My shout out is to Carla.  Our newest auction customer.  She won the auction for Candy by Donna Rubert.  This was a new sculpt for us and she really turned out cute.
Carla, it turns out is just the nicest customer!  She was really excited during the auction process.  She said the nicest thing to us.  She said, "I am beyond thrilled to have won this truly beautiful doll..just amazed!  .....  I am still in shock I actually won.....never thought I could own one of your dolls!"
Rita was flattered beyond belief.  To us, we just make dolls.  We do our best to make a great doll that someone will enjoy.  It turns out, Carla has followed our dolls, and even read this blog!  How about that.  A fan club.  Seems kind of overwhelming.
I ride Rita's coattails.  She does the artwork, I do the grunt work.  I could make doll bodies and build dolls all day long, and not make them look like she does.  I get to take the pictures and maintain the listings and database.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE doing it, but Rita is the true talent in this organization.  Truly.
So, thank you to Carla, for that wonderful shot in the arm.  It made us, once again, realize just how special our efforts are.  David

Springtime!

Spring has sprung early at the Meese household!  Time to clean and organize after the holidays. 
One of our goals is to get our workshop out of the living room and into the office.  It is a little smaller, but we can be much more organized.  Shelving, lighting, storage, computers can all be positioned just the way we want them.  I am looking forward to it.
Also, a side benefit is being able to cool only one room instead of the whole house!  And it is right across from the wood burning stove so we can be warm in the winter.  Nice.
I think it is vital that we take the time once or twice a year and shake things up a bit.  Not just the house, but our jobs, our day to day life, our relationships.  Take them out, dust them off, shine 'em up with Pledge.  Take care of what we have and cherish our blessings. 
I know.  Its my common theme.  But I try not to take what I have for granted.  Its a way to be happy!
Have a great day all.  David