Mason, a Christmas joy!

On Saturday my sister Linda Sue took Rita and I to our annual Christmas pageant. It is always a wonderful break from the craziness of making dolls just before Christmas (even elves need a break!). The beginning features some wonderful Christmas choral selections performed by different chorales my the Citrus Hill college. Its my favorite part. Absolutely love it. But! I got to meet Mason. A five-year-old bundle of Down's syndrome enthusiasm and hope. Mason was antsy as all five-year-olds are, anxious to see Santa. Mommy dutifully laid out the program for Mason so he could understand that he had to wait. First the singing, then the intermission and a snack, and then Santa! Mason was, at first, a little overwhelmed but so excited at the same time. Mason did pretty well waiting. He played with the seat and played musical laps with Mom and Dad. Things went as Mom had said. Singing. Intermission. Snack. Its time! The lights dimmed. The music brought the few stragglers to their seats. The music came to a crescendo! The curtain rose! SANTA!!!!!! I must tell you, this old mad relived his joy of Christmas in that very moment. Little Mason, held in Daddy's lap, had a look of joy, excitement, and absolute bliss, and clapped like no one ever has. That very moment, will live inside me forever. Mason was ensconced from then on in Daddy's lap and love, and paid rapt attention to the entire program. Finally, he got to go up on stage to meet Santa and get his candy cane treat. My absolute joy was watching him. In one moment, I got to relive the anticipation of Santa, the Christmas joy of Christmases past, the joy of being a Daddy and giving that to my children, and I felt a part of it all. Isn't that what we all want? To be a part of it all. I loved it so very, very, much. Thank you sis. Thank you Mason. David

The move...

It has been way too long since I last posted to my blog! Since my last post we have painted the office and installed new carpeting. AND NOW! Our doll making production area is moved out of the dining room where it has resided for six years, and is fully ensconced in the office. Rita finally has her own computer. All the doll clothes are hung up in a closet instead of on a table or hanging on a drying rack. We are next to the printer/copier. All my fabrics and patterns are in sight so I can plan my next outfit and know what supplies I need. We have a much cleaner, neater environment. And if it does get messy, we can shut the door! We have a dining room! We can actually eat there. And invite people over without having to rush around and make room. There are still a few little kinks to work out, but it is good. Rita and I both are looking forward to the Christmas rush with a little more hope in our hearts. We have made plans about decorating for Chistmas. It won't be at the last minute, rushing around with loads of stress. Hope is in the air. Orders are coming in. We prayed long and hard that the Good Lord would bless our efforts. We prayed He would help us move into the office. He did. Now we pray he bless our little dolls that they will be a blessing to their new mommies. Thank you Jesus. Just plain, thank you. My cup overflows. David

Rudeness is as rudeness does.....

Yesterday Rita and I did our monthly shopping at Wal-Mart. We bought about four hundred dollars worth. Being frugal, we do the price comparisons that Wal-Mart offers. On their ads, they allow you to price match any competitors ads. That means we can get their meats, produce, dairy items all at sale prices in one store! Doing this comes at a price though. It takes a lot of time to ring up our order. We explain to people behind us that it takes a while and they may want to get into a different line. I figure, its their choice. To me, doing this just makes sense. If I can get quality items for much less money in one place, then we will have more money in my pocket when we are done. Rita and I work hard for our money. We worry about our business. We weather through the lean times. We work our "tooshies" off in the fat times. But it is our money. We earned it. So when we are in line, and we explain to you that it will take some time to ring up our order, believe it. Yesterday, an older "gentleman" became very frustrated. He started yelling at the cashier. She was new, it wasn't her fault. Then the worst part happened. He became racist. Our clerk was Hispanic, new to her job, and a bit frustrated. She was doing her absolute best to follow the rules and ring things up right. She had to ask for clarification on a few items. It just takes time. When our rude "gentleman" started speaking VERY loudly, I told him he wasn't helping and asked him to calm it down a bit. He was rather chagrined. A bit later, he said in a very loud voice "she doesn't even speak English!" I responded very firmly that she spoke very good English and stared him in the eye. He knew I wouldn't budge. He walked away spouting his invective at anyone that was in earshot. Disgusting. At least he went away. The clerk was rattled and stressed out. There is no excuse for behaving badly. He had the choice. He was told it would take a while. But he didn't get what he wanted. He wanted it now. And he didn't get it. Luckily, the clerk had more class in her little toe than this man had in his entire life. She was tired, frustrated, and rattled. She thanked us for being patient, and we apologized for that man. At least she didn't have to ring him up. I seriously doubt that man felt even the slightest bit guilty for how he behaved. Rudeness. No excuses. None. David

To paraphrase....

Yesterday is a memory. Tomorrow is but a dream. But today, THIS day, is full of possibilities. Its a new day, make it yours! David

On this Labor Day

I enjoy the end of summer, the chance to celebrate the end of one season and the beginning of another. On this Labor Day, I must work some. Yesterday was a day off. Really. We took a day off. We talked, read some scripture, enjoyed one another's company, ate, and ate some more. I truly love spending time with my sweetheart. Everyday. The blessings just keep piling on. Being with Rita, makes me want to be a better man. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve her. It is so darned easy to become complacent. Doing the same thing, day in, day out, makes me feel like I am living life by rote. But, now and then, Rita does or says something that makes me laugh, or puts me in awe, and I am reminded that I messed up my last relationship and don't want to do it again. I have been given the ultimate second chance in life. I need to make sure Rita knows how much I love her. Everyday. David As always, your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

Change for the sake of change

Last night Leslie and Stuart put the finishing touches on the office.  All the little details are done.  It is so nice.  Clean.  I can't wait for the flooring to go in.
I can actually see what it will look like.  How it will all go together. 
Until now, every year we have had to pack up the business in a mad rush at the last minute in order to have company over for Christmas.  We get most of the decorations up, but the business was done on the dining room table.
I must tell you, each time packed things up, and then unpacked them after the holidays, there would be something positive that came out of it.  Maybe a new way to organize things.  New ways to store our stuff.  It was a way to re-examine what it is we do.
Moving into the office is the ultimate in change.  It will be a little hard to get used to.  But having what I need, when I need it, at my fingertips, will streamline things greatly.
Being able to see what we need to order easily, will take some of the stress off.  We always worry that something important has not been ordered.
Having worked at Stater Bros. Markets for thirty-five years, I found that the quarterly inventories were a great source of change.  We would find ways to get rid of slow moving product.  The back room would be much better organized.  It helped us to be prepared for the next holiday.
Change, just for the sake of change.  It helps us to stay fresh.  It helps us to think clearer.  Maybe its as simple as reorganizing the Tupperware cupboard.  Or taking a fresh look at the "junk drawer."
The Good Lord has it right.  Morning turns into daylight into evening and night.  Every day.  Seasons change.  Its all good.  David


As always, your thoughts and comments are welcome.

A time for change

Recently I heard a news commentator speak of the "end of summer" looming right around the corner.  End of summer?  Already? 
While we have had some pretty strong heat waves here in So Cal, for the most part, our summer mornings on the porch have been wonderful.  A great way to start the day.
I remember as a child, dreading the end of August.  Ugh.  We had the Norco Valley Fair to look forward to, but the last day of the fair with the parade and all, heralded in the end of summer.  Often, the very next day would be the first day of school.
Given the choice, I would much rather have spent my day riding my Schwinn bicycle, exploring the river bottom, swimming at the city swimming pool, and wrestling with my buddies.
School.  I had to get up early, get dressed, take the bus, and face a new teacher.  They had expectations.  I had to perform.
Lets see.  Summer playtime or homework?  The choice for me was clear. 
Accepting that change in season, that drastic change in lifestyle, was not something I wanted.  To accept life's changes is something I had to learn as I matured. 
To accept the changes, embrace them, in His time, was not fun as a child, but I certainly see His wisdom now.  Those changes come with benefits I could not see then.
Now, I look forward to cooler mornings, to some rainfall.  I look forward to changes in our business (yes, things are changing!).   I look forward to the sun going down earlier.  I look forward to hearing the coyotes bringing out their new batch of babies and serenading us with their song.  I look forward to the different style of cooking!  Less barbeque (sad), more roasts and soups and turkey and stuffing.  Yes, its right around the corner.  Yum.
So, being able to accept changes in life, whether its the weather, old age, business, food, grandkids, its all so very wonderful in His time.  I have learned to love it.  Can't wait for tomorrow.  David


As always, your comments and thoughts are always welcome. 

Looking forward!

Its all in His time.  Always.
Rita and I made plans after the first of this year to move our workshop out of the dining room and into the office.  It sounded like a good plan.  Kind of excited.
Over and over the Lord said, "wait.
Health issues.
Money problems.
Business issues.
Truck broke down.
We tackled each one, one at a time.  Slowly but surely we stayed the course.
FINALLY!  The office is coming to fruition.  Eight months later.  We are blessed to have Leslie helping us.  The room is pretty much emptied of all our stuff.  Lots of stuff.
We have the paint, rollers, tape, etc.  The walls are washed down.  The computer is moved.  The planets are aligned.  All systems are go.  Unless He says wait again.  Then we stay faithful.  I have learned so much about His time.  If I do things in His time, it all works out for the best.
I love it.  David

A deeper understanding of my faith

What a difference a little time makes!  Two months ago, the truck broke down.  No money to fix it.  No credit card to rely upon.  Just a truck that won't start. 
Rita and I have a number of people in our lives that love us.  First is my big sister.  She helped us by using her AAA card to get the truck towed to Perris Auto Repair.  They couldn't figure it out, but $500 later found the culprit, a wire had been chewed by a rat.  They repaired that and got the A/C running.  Phew!  We worked hard for the money, but we did it.
We thought we had it made.  But no!  A few days later it quit while I was driving us home from a doctors appointment.  Dead.  The motor turned over, but it would not start up.
Big sister to the rescue again.  We get it down to the shop, only to find out the fuel pump was shot.  Eight hundred sixty dollars, and three weeks later, we had it back.
But during this period of nearly two months, I learned of kindness shown by friends, of our own resilience, and my faith had grown. 
Not just Susie helping us by getting the truck towed and taking us shopping, paying the house payment, etc.  But my brother Mike and his wife Linda, inviting us out for dinner.  We were scraping together every penny to fix the truck, and they took us out to dinner.  Man did we need it.
Then there is my buddy Larry.  Drove all the way up here, took me back, let me use the car, and I did a months worth of shopping.  I bought him breakfast.  He ended up doing that twice for us.  I am grateful.
Then there was Stuart and Leslie, picking up prescriptions, taking me shopping twice and just being nice about it. 
Finally there was our neighbor Brenda.  Brenda has no vehicle of her own, but she lent her ear, and gave us her friendship.  She cared.  I am humbled.
My Lord has taught me some incredible lessons.  That we have friends that love us.  A friend in need...
When this time of "trouble" started, I was stressed out.  Big time.  I prayed.  But I was stressed.  Truck.  Bills.  The business.  How is this affecting my Rita?  Etc.  You get the idea. 
The most important lesson of all, Susie helped me to see.  By the time this was all over, my faith had grown.  I was less stressed because I was much more able to put it into God's hands.  I needed to go through all this to gain more trust in Him.  All things in His time.  David

On my knees in gratitude.....

Yesterday, things really came together for us.  Two dolls sold, we have enough to fix the truck, and a couple of bucks to buy supplies.  Maybe even save a bit to save.
It has been a rough couple of months with the truck down.  But it taught me a few things.  Prayer, specific prayer, and looking to see if we are within God's will, makes the difference.  We will succeed if we ask for what we want, as long as we are within His will.  It may seem tough to do.
Often, people run into problems and assume God will fix it.  But you have to do something.  Not just hope.  I believe that when faced with a problem, you need to pray.  Pray solemnly, fervently, and specifically. 
Kind of like talking to your boss.  State the problem.  Clearly so you understand it as well.  State your options.  Ask for his guidance.  Be open to other solutions you may not have thought of or don't want.  Be open to his input.
Then old adage, "do something, even if it is wrong, do something" comes to mind.  Try to solve it yourself.  As you go, you will see whether it was the right thing to do.  He may be teaching you the value of hard work.  He may be teaching about making decisions.  He may be teaching you about His will (was your solution choice within His will?).  The worst one, He may be teaching you patience.
He may be saying "not yet".  
To boil it down, prayer, problem stated, considering His will, and action will solve most problems.  Sometimes He wants you to rely upon other people for help.  This may be an opportunity for you to express gratitude.  It may be an opportunity to sow a seed or two. 
Give Him a shot.  The answer is there if you are open.  David

My Rita

Seven years ago today, I married the love of my life.  My wife.  My girl.  My "go-to" when things are down.  My shoulder to cry on.  My help-mate.  The truest friend I have ever had.
She loves me in spite of my faults and I love her the same. Actually we love one another because of those faults.  We are who we are, accepted, loved, and a little bit wacky.
Every day our sense of humor shines through.  Even the tough times.  And these are tough times. 
This day, this special day, I want so badly to take you out on the town, do something special to commemorate our anniversary.  Dinner, talk, and canoodling.  Holding hands. 
Alas, we can't do that today.  No money, vehicle is in the shop, and there is work to do.  We will enjoy this day nevertheless.  We will have a nice dinner, we will talk, and we will canoodle!
I am with you nearly twenty-four/seven.  Yet it never gets old.  Every day is an adventure.  I love seeing the gears turn in your head as you try to figure things out.  Inventive ways to save money,  Crazy ways to work our business.  You help me to figure out the bills. 
Most importantly, when its important, you listen.  You really listen.  With you, I am valued.  I hope I do the same for you.  Sometimes I think I can never measure up. 
How did I get this woman in my life?  God must really love me.  I am blessed beyond measure.
Happy anniversary sweetheart.  I love you.  David

What about you?

From time to time people read my blog.  There it is.  My blog.  Just the nature of it is narcissistic.  I write about what I want.  All about me, my troubles, my successes, etc.
What about you?  Who are you?  What about your trials and tribulations?
I am curious.  I can learn from friends and family, and even complete strangers. 
The world is full of everyday stories.  Everyday people going through their everyday lives.  Dealing with life.  What about you?
What are your failures that you would be willing to share?  Not that this is a Dear Abby column, but we can learn from one another. 
I am interested.  I would love to hear from you.  Please, take the time.  It would make this old man's day.  And it can be anonymous.  David

Reslilience is difficult!

This morning I awoke at three a.m.   Thinking about the business.  Thinking about money.  How will we do it?  Yesterday Rita and I put in a long day trying to make something happen so we can fix the truck.  Humph.
I went back to sleep, thankfully.  I awoke at six a.m. ready to tackle whatever comes our way. 
The old adage, "God helps those that help themselves" comes to mind.  If we don't put forth the effort, we won't be rewarded. 
Today, I will put up more listings on eBay.  I will build another doll or two.  Hopefully get them listed as well.
Unfortunately, I am not in control of our customers purse strings!  I can take good pictures, I can list at a good price, but will it be enough?  Only god knows.  That's the hard part. 
Let thy will be done.  I want it to be my will  so badly.  But I must submit it to him.  It will be in His time, His way, the way He wants it.  It is so very hard to submit.  But, I must. 
I have to let go of my pride.  My ego wants to be able to say, "I did it", but it won't happen without His say so. 
So, God.  Your will be done.   I know your will is in my best interest.  I know you are helping me to be perfect.  I fall so short.  I look forward to your lessons, to your teachings, to the opportunities you present me.  I am grateful.  With your help, with your guidance, with your blessings, we can do anything!  David


As always, your thoughts and comments are always welcome. 

Steadfastness? How about resilience?

Its been ten days since I last posted on this blog.  Rita and I had the truck in the shop after a long period of saving up enough money to get it fixed.
We were able to afford to fix the problem and get the fan motor on the A/C working!  Hooray!  Just in time for summer.  It felt good.
When faced with a tough problem, I try to look back to see what I had learned.  Friends and family.  Persistence.  But most of all, steadfastness.  Being steadfast in our faith in the Lord, in our business, and in one another.  It got us through.
We started to make plans to redo the office into a doll production area.  Paint, flooring, lighting, and maybe some curtains.  Looking forward.
But it was not to be.  Coming home from the doctor's office the truck just plain quit.  102 degree heat.  Once again, Susie to the rescue.  We are so blessed to have her in our lives.  Thanks again, again, again, sis!
So, we are home, the truck is in the shop, and we are scrambling to figure out how to get the truck fixed.  The fuel pump is shot.  $850 minimum.  Hooboy. 
Steadfastness got us through before.  It will again.  But I think He is teaching me a bit of resilience this time as well. 
We get down, we fight our way back up.
We can earn our truck back.
And I will appreciate that truck even more. 
The day will come when we have to get a new vehicle.  But for now, I am grateful, and doing my best to be steadfast and resilient!
This isn't anything compared to Job.  I've got it easy compared to him.  David


As always, your comments and thoughts are welcome.

Car troubles! UGH!

About seven weeks ago, I went out to start my truck.  Nothing.  Without going into details, truck busted.  No drive today.  Stay home.  Dang.
My wonderful sister Susie drove all the way to my house to take me to the bank and store to get some supplies.  Thanks sis!
As Rita and I don't get out much, it hasn't been a MAJOR problem for us.  We have had to rely upon Susie, my buddy Larry once, and Stewart and Leslie a couple of times.
Luckily, we don't get out much.  Maybe twice a month to pay bills and get odds and ends.
In saving up enough money to get the truck fixed, I have learned a few things.  First, how wonderful it is to have my sister and friends that are willing to help us.  I am doing all I can to not wear out that friendship. 
Second, my brother Mike and his wife Linda have stepped up to the plate and taken Rita and I out to dinner, and we are expected at their house for dinner this Saturday.  Linda is even going to pick us up and bring us back!  It will be nice to get out.
The care and concern from everyone has been just awesome.  That word gets overused, but I am in awe they are so good to us.  I would do the same for them.  But it feels good.
This morning we have the truck towed to the shop.  On a prayer.  Hopefully it won't cost too much.  If it does, it will have to be towed back until we have the money to pay for the repairs.  Oh, how I hope we can get it fixed.

Father, guide them as they diagnose the problems.  Help them to keep the costs down.  And help us to deal with the answer.  Whether it gets fixed, or we have to wait, give us strength and confidence that we will persevere.  Thank you so much for our family and friends.  We are blessed.  Amen.


Have a great day all!  Lets face this day with optimism and hope!  David

Today is the day!

This morning my sister, Susie, and I will travel to my Aunt's church.  I will be giving a talk on reborn dolls to the senior group.  I can't wait!
I am curious who will be there.  It looks to be a very hot day, so who knows will show up.  But we will enjoy lunch, talk about dolls, and enjoy each others company.
I am certain there are some great stories in that bunch.  I will do my best to help them to open up and share their experiences.  We shall see.
When I asked my friends on facebook for their experiences a high school friend, Cynthia Beebe, shared hers.  For a couple of years she had begged repeatedly for a "Chatty Cathy" doll.  Finally she received one on Christmas morning.  That day her parents piled up all the kids and took them to her grandparents house in Adelanto, quite a drive with all those kids.
They visited with grandparents, played in the yard, ate dinner, and came home.  As they were getting close to home Cynthia realized she had left her new doll at grandma's house.  Daddy would not turn around to go get her doll.  Cynthia was crushed.
Luckily, Grandma found her doll and saved it for her, but it was several months before they returned.
A sad story for a child, but it emphasizes how important dolls can be for a small girl.
I hope we can get a few stories from the seniors.  I am sure there are some.
Do you have a story about a childhood doll?  Or maybe about your own child's doll?  I would love to hear from you.  Feel free to leave a comment.  David

The doll connection

To many people, the revelations I put forth today will be a "duh" moment.  It will be patently obvious to you.  But I ask you to consider the "why" as you read this blog today.
Rita and I make dolls.  Absolutely beautiful dolls.  I am proud of that. 
I have known all my life that girls play with dolls.  I was a typical boy.  Cars and trucks, Lincoln logs, baseball, wrestling in the front yard with friends, camping, you know, guy stuff.  Dolls never interested me.  Its one of those things that make little boys curious about girls.  They are weird.  Playing "dress up."  Talking.  We guys don't talk so much. 
As a parent, seeing my daughters play with dolls, I saw how much joy they got from them.  Not just dressing them, feeding them, putting them in bed, etc. etc.   But they would talk to them.  They would name them.  It was God's practice for them when they would nurture and love their own baby.  Like I said, duh.  No kidding.
I have known all these things intrinsically but it has crystallized in my head.  We men are the hunters, protectors, providers.  We have to learn these things that seem to come so naturally to girls.
When I saw my sister Susie, pick up one of our dolls for the first time, She instantly cradled it in her arms, patted its back, and said "Ahhhhh....."   It was then I began to get the connection. 
The Good Lord sure does know what he is doing.  Women are DESIGNED for babies.  Duh.  Not only to make them, but to love them, care for them, nurture them.  God spends girls childhoods gearing them up for that moment. 
Dolls become a part of a girls memories of childhood.  A part of their innocence.  A memory of fun times they had with other girls. 
Not trying to be sexist here.  But, thankfully, women are different from men.  We all bring different things to the parent table.  Women bring those things that provide for the human race.  Love, caring, nurturing, in short, humanity. 
I am glad I am a man.  But I am grateful for what women bring to this world.  And not just babies.  David


As always, your comments are welcome.  :-)

Gratitude

Today, this morning, I am grateful.  For my wonderful wife that gets my goofy sense of humor.  For my brother and sister, that love me and care about me.  For my children, that I worry about and miss.  For my neighbor Brenda, with all her wackiness.  She has a tough time of it in life.  Makes my troubles seem paltry. 
For my home, my truck that doesn't run, for my freezer that iced up and almost lost all the meat, for the front light that blew off and broke the glass. 
I am grateful.  These are all things that can and will be fixed.  We will persevere.  Its just stuff. 
I have love, I have peace.  I love others.  My life has meaning.  Thanks Jesus.  David

This will make you think

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=565674916804570
I saw this on facebook yesterday.  Please take the time to watch it.  It is seven minutes.  But it is so worth the time.  Very powerful.  Take the time.  Now.

My moments of grace

Every now and then God gives us a glimpse into heaven.  Somewhere in our lives we can see moments of absolute peace and serenity.  There are moments of unbridled joy.  We all have our moments of absolute humility.  I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
When I was sixteen, I was a sophomore in high school.  About 1971.  I had been raised by a mother that dutifully schlepped me off to church every Sunday.  I had all the Sunday school teaching a kid should have.  I had recently finished my confirmation class and I was accepted as a member of the church.  We studied the book of Matthew in depth.  I had heard the stories, but this was a real, in depth, look at the life of Jesus.  There was real meaning in that book.  It struck a chord.
In the late sixties and early seventies there was the "Jesus movement".  Maranatha and all that.  The Jesus freaks.  Long hair, bell bottoms, dangling peace signs, love beads. 
I went to a concert put on by the Christian group in school.  I was interested in them.  Mostly because there was a cute girl there, Rene Plum.  Fifty years later I find out she is a minister in Norco.  But I digress.
During the concert, Christ spoke to me through this band.  They spoke of Christ's love.  Of forgiveness.  Of peace, true peace.  I got wrapped up in that message.  Right then and there I gave my life to Christ.  I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior.  It was a life changing event.
So my identity was now, David Meese, Son of Hal and Billie, Brother to Mike and Linda, Christian church member, and child of Christ.
At that moment, I was given a cross I could count on.  I could lean on.  I could rest on.  I could use as an anchor when the world was swirling around me.  My salvation. 
At times it seemed like my life was filled with anger, resentment, jealousy, etc.  I would stray away from the cross.  I would put on the pretend face of a Christian, wanting people to like me, to think well of me.  But my back was to the cross.
Then another life changing event would come crashing down.  Talk about sin.  I really screwed up.  Big time.  I lost my marriage, I lost my ability to see my kids for a while, and I lost their respect.  But, even with all that, that cross was still there.  Waiting for me.  He still loved me. 
A simple prayer, and I knew I would be okay.  But it came with heavy responsibilities.  I had to account for my actions.  I had to pay a penance.  I had to atone.  I had to learn.  I had to humble myself. 
My children still love me.  But it haunts them from time to time.  That phrase in the Bible where it says the sins of the father shall be visited upon the son is so true.  Hopefully, they have seen the sin, seen the atonement, seen some humility, and forgiven.  They say they have forgiven me.  I hope that is true.
So.  My moments of grace.  When I accepted Christ.  When I was with my newborn children (there is nothing quite like holding a newborn baby).  Camping in the wilderness, I would have moments alone with the stars, seeing Gods hand in the universe, that first time I talked to Rita and found that unbelievable connection.  I could go on and on.  Each one of these are glimpses into heaven.  Peace.  Serenity.  Joy.  Forgiveness.  Grace.  Contentment.
If I had not strayed, if I had not atoned, if I had not repented, if I did none of that, Rita and I would not be together today.  God had a plan for me.  I learned the hard way, but I learned, and I am so very glad of it.
Thank you Jesus for being my Rock.  I am yours.  David

Its been too long....

I am sorry that I haven't posted anything for ten days!  I am sorry to myself mostly.  Not many people ever read my blog.  But I have found that by writing in this journal, I am more contemplative, more thoughtful, and I am more focused.  My values and judgments seem straighter.
Today, a man I went to high school with, Darrell Bolin, wrote this in facebook:


"These are the days".... Some good, others bad.... Would I change anything....? Nah, As fire shapes metal, so does life shape us.... Control your fire, and fan the flames gently.... Have a wonderful day, and, um, I'll try and behave.... 


This comment has so much within it.  An acceptance of life as it is.  Not spending time filled with regret.  I can accept my life, accept wrongdoings done to me, and my own wrongdoings as well.  Life is what it is. 
Life shaped me.  It forged me into who I am.  What I do from here on is my responsibility, and my opportunity.   I can choose to love or hate.  I can care or ignore.  I can reach out, or sit in my armchair. 
I have a fire.  My fire of life.  It still burns brightly.  My passion for life is strong.  My body may be crapping out, but my heart knows what it knows.
I can choose to fan my fire carefully, keep it strong, use that fuel to live a life I want.  Or I can whip that fire into a frenzy and burn out way too soon.  I like the steady flame metaphor. 
So no.  I would not change a thing.  Regrets?  A boatload.  But I wouldn't change a thing.  If I could change anything is how my actions and my words affected others.  But I wouldn't change me.
So to anyone reading this, "Have a wonderful day, and, um, I'll try and behave....  "  David


As always, your thoughts and comments are appreciated.  Feel free to respond!  :-)

Father's Day recap

The veranda was cleaned and vacuumed.  The house was clean and neat.  The kitched was stocked with wonderful smells and tantalizing delights.
Rita and I had the salads prepared the day before.  Sister Linda brought the appetizers.  Sister Susie brought the ice, brats, and some other stuff.  Sean brought the beer. 
My job was to barbeque the chicken breasts and brats.  Never had brats, but my big brother Mike raved about them earlier.  I cleaned the barbeque for the grilling season.  Turned on the burners.  Worked fine.  I was ready for the grilling.
Everybody showed up.  I got set to start the grill.  Turned on the gas, lit the fire, and hardly any flame was there. Ugh.  No such thing as problems, only opportunities!
Into the house I went to put the chicken under the broiler.  And to my pleasant surprise, in comes my son Sean.  How wonderful!  We talked.  Just talked.  It was really nice.  No one else, just the two of us.  It made my whole day.  So what if the barbeque crapped out?  I got to talk to Sean.  Nice.
The food was finished, bellies were filled, and talk flowed.  Jokes told.  Love passed around from person to person.  I could not have asked for a better Father's Day. 
Unless my own dad was there.  Missed him.  Someday we will meet again.  Someday.  David

A perspective on Father's Day

Last night Rita and I were preparing for a family get-together for Father's Day.  The invitations were called in, the meal was planned.  Who is bringing what.  What cleaning and organizing we need to do.  Where we will all sit.  Etc.  Etc.
When it was done I sat in a bit of reverie, longing for the days when I took the boys camping and fishing.  Longing for that innocence and love.  We are all grown up now.  Even me.
I started going down the road of regrets.  Of hurts.  Of pain.  Of bad choices.  Of missed opportunities.  It can be overwhelming.
I chased my reverie back into a more positive thought process.  Dragging myself down does me no good.  It certainly doesn't help.  Don't get me wrong.  Remembering my errors, my bad choices, can help me from doing them again.  But getting into a funk can be harmful.  So I remember it with a large dose of the good stuff too.  A broader picture of myself, of my kids, where we are, and where we are going.  There are many things I would change if I could, but I can't.
I started thinking of my own dad.  I wish I had known him better.  Oh the regrets start to rear their ugly heads again.  So I think of the good times.
Of catching and cooking up my first fish.  Of making "tractors" out of Mom's wooden thread spools, a match stick, a button, and a rubber band.  Oh the fun.
I remember my chickens.  And the ducks.  And my hamster.  And my fish tank.  It goes on. 
I remember Dad waking me up many times at four AM so I could get my newspaper route done before going to school.  Dad was proud of me.
In the same way, I am so very proud of all my kids.  They make choices that I worry about.  But I am proud of them all.  Every one.  Each has his or her own struggles they have to get through, but it will hone them.  I worry and pray.  But I am proud.
There are things of my own childhood I would change, but it would have changed me.  Who I am now.  And this is where God wants me to be. 
I am proud of myself, too. 
Saturday will be fun.  Memories relived.  Jokes told.  Politics discussed.  Bellies filled.  Beer consumed.  All in all, life is pretty damn good.  David

Its amazing how things work together. People and food. Go figure.

Have you ever stopped to think about spaghetti sauce?  Did you ever think about the ingredients?
Think of it this way.  A piece of cooked hamburger without seasoning.  Certainly good, and good for you, but just not all that good.  Or a piece of bell pepper?  How about a piece of garlic? 
How about a cooked spaghetti noodle?  On its own, bland.  Not much too it.  It is certainly good for you, but just not all that.
If you think of all the ingredients in a good sauce, none can stand on its own.  Nothing is the primary ingredient.  You may say the tomato, but on its own, delicious, but not even close to what spaghetti sauce achieves.
To make a good sauce you have to have it all.  Lean hamburger. Onions. Mushrooms. I like black olives, gotta have em'.   Fresh garlic.  Good oregano.  Maybe a little sugar to balance the sauce.  I could go on.
Hopefully you get the idea.  Each ingredient on its own is nothing compared to what they achieve together.
We humans are that way.  One person on their own can certainly have their own personality, or flavor if you will.  But two together, with a common goal, can bring a zest and spice to each others lives they never would have alone.
A group of people with common interests can achieve great things.  A church or a business can flourish with good leadership.  Man can land on the moon.  Send exploration vehicles to Mars.
Its amazing how things work together.  People and food.  Go figure.  David

When it hits the fan, who do you call?

Last night, Rita and I tried to watch a previous episode of a tv series we had missed.  Rita went through all kinds of websites trying to view it.
Some wanted money.  Some wanted a monthly subscription.  We wanted it free.  Silly us. 
We found a "free" site that looked promising.  But we had to download some type of program to enable our laptop to view it.  That was "free" too.
By the time she was done, we ended up with our poor laptop working overtime to try and figure out what it was we wanted.  We ended up with the black screen of death.  Thank goodness it wasn't the blue screen.  That's terminal.
If this was me, I would have frozen wherever I was, screamed "NOOOO!!!" and then yelled for Rita.  It amazes me how she can figure it all out.
Within an hour, she had it back running again.  This morning she will uninstall whatever it was that she downloaded. 
I probably would have crapped my pants.  I may not be using my computer to its fullest potential, but if it means not having to go through that, I am happy.
For me, if I miss an episode on TV, I just plain missed it.  Life goes on.  It isn't worth it. 
The moral of the story is, if your computer craps out, call Rita.  She is amazing.  David
As usual, your comments and stories are always welcome. 

Beans

One of the most satisfying foods I can think of are beans.  They fill you up.  Quite nicely for a very reasonable price.  Easy to make.
Many different recipes.  Beans and ham.  Beans and veggies.  Refried.  Beans, beans, and more beans.
They are very good for you.  They provide essential nutrients.  We try to have them once or twice a month.
Mongo loved them.
And an added surprise, they are funny afterward.  Don't forget the onions!  David
As always, your comments and stories are always welcome. 

Father

This morning I was doing my usual scrolling through facebook.  I am looking through the assortment of funny pictures, stories, political comments, and whatnot.  A friend, Lily Garcia, posted the Lord's prayer.  It shook me out of my morning stupor. 
I had already checked ebay and Etsy, checked the email, read the news, and solved the daily Sudoku.  I was just about done with my morning routine.
The first line just spoke to me.  "Our Father."  Daddy.  Abba.  Yahweh.  Jesus.  Comforter.  Healer.  Protector.  Jehovah.  The list goes on and on. 
I say "Heavenly Father" nearly every day as Rita and I sit down to a meal.  But I skip over it.  Its what I say to start the prayer and get to what I want.  What I need.  Then finish and eat my meal.
But that is the most important part of the prayer!  If I were to do it properly, I probably don't need to say the rest.  Utter, absolute reverence.  Solemn thanks.  Gratefulness.  A deep and abiding love for He who gave me life.  An appreciation for all the blessings in my life. 
He already knows my wants and needs.  He already knows how I am feeling.   He already knows.  But the use of prayer in my life is not so much for that, but to allow me to have time with Him.  For me to communicate, and have a relationship with Him.
God, Jesus, Jehovah, Yahweh, Abba, was there in my deepest darkest times.  He was there.  He shone the light for me.  He forgave me.  He showed his ultimate grace.  Its humbling. 
And yet, I go right past His name when I pray.  To get to my stuff.  I am so very immature in my spiritual life.  I need to work on that.  All I need to do is follow the light that He is holding for me, stay on the path He has provided.  And love Him.
Today.  David
As always, your comments and stories are always welcome.

Memorial Day

A man's country is not a certain area of land, of mountains, rivers, and woods, but it is a principle and patriotism is loyalty to that principle.

George William Curtis

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_memorialday.html#KIP7c2RtgGmVfJFf.99

A man's country is not a certain area of land, of mountains, rivers, and woods, but it is a principle and patriotism is loyalty to that principle.

George William Curtis

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_memorialday.html#KIP7c2RtgGmVfJFf.99

A man's country is not a certain area of land, of mountains, rivers, and woods, but it is a principle and patriotism is loyalty to that principle.

George William Curtis

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_memorialday.html#KIP7c2RtgGmVfJFf.99

"A man's country is not a certain area of land, of mountains, rivers, or woods, but it is a principle and patriotism is loyalty to that principle."  George William Curtis.
How true.
My country is based upon freedoms.  Freedom to worship as I choose.  Freedom to speak my mind.  Freedom to tell the truth.  Freedom to assemble.  Freedom from tyranny.
Recently there have been many assaults on those freedoms.  It worries me that our younger generation will not know how hard it was to win those freedoms. 
I am loyal to the principles of freedom.  Therefore, I am patriotic.  But I am not happy with those that yearn to diminish my freedoms or the freedoms of my family.
I wish you all a happy Memorial Day as we remember our fallen heroes.  David
As always, your comments and stories are always welcome.

Opportunities!

Some time ago I learned of a mantra from the US Marines.  It says, "There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."
That kind of sums up my approach to life.  Everybody has obstacles. Everybody has disappointments. Everybody has things that are out of their control go crazy.
What defines me is what I do with it.  If this obstacle is of my own doing, I can learn from it. I can not do it again.  If said obstacle is of someone else's doing, I can try doing it differently.  There is always another approach.  There is always another way to do things.  Even if it means just having an new attitude.
Another mantra from the Marines, MUAR.  Maximum use of available resources.  A paper clip could save your life. 
Rita and I sell dolls in order to pay the bills and survive.  We often experience downturns in business.  Its what happens.  What we have to do is look at all our assets and decide what we can do to make more money.  We can make different dolls.  Use different outfits.  Try different lighting for the pictures.  Try different backgrounds etc. etc.
The point I am making is we have to be possibility thinkers.  Rev. Robert Schuller once said a prayer that went something like:
When face with a mountain,
I climb over.
I will tunnel under, 
I will travel around,
I will fly over,
With God's help, I can do anything.


Kind of sums it all up for me.  David


As always, your comments and thoughts are always welcome.  Feel free to chime in.  D

Country words of wisdom

A LITTLE COMMON SENSE FROM AN OLD COWBOY ...
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.
~ Michael Traveler, author of Michael Traveler, author of Postcards from the Backroads Read more about it here or find out how to get your own copy ... https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=664597670237581&set=a.305771519453533.75925.276064969090855&type=1&theater)

Sock it to me!

This morning I read an article about a woman diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  After all the treatments the cancer came back with a vengeance.  She was told it was terminal.  Instead of letting it get her down, she preferred to live the time she had with all the gusto she had led her life.
Her motto is  "Dum vivimus vivamus," which means, "While we live, let us live."  To me that is incredibly profound.  We get one life.  One roll of the dice.  One hand to play.  It is ours to do with as we please. 
External factors may judge some of your life.  Parents, social standing, race, economics, etc. can all play a part.  But what gives us joy is how we react, behave, to all that.  Some are born rich and are incredibly miserable. Others are dirt poor and happy as a clam. 
It is what is inside that makes the difference.  I want to live my life as fully as I can.  Today, I will make dolls with Rita.  I will make her some dinner and try to make her feel special.  I will call someone.  I will play a game of scrabble.  This all makes me happy.
Today, I will make my life the best I can.  Sock it to me!  David


As always, your comments are always welcome.  Feel free to chime in.  D

Brains...

     You have brains in your head
     You have feet in your shoes
     You can steer yourself
     In any direction you choose
                                 Dr. Seuss


What a wonderful author.  I spent many hours reading his books as a child.  They were fun and imaginative.  I read them today in awe at his poetic and literary talent.  They are timeless.


This brings to mind a quote that has been around for a while and haunts me to this day.
     "What could you accomplish if you knew you could not fail?"


This quote pushes Rita and I in our business.  It helps us to overcome fear.  It challenges us to do better, to try new things.  We are challenged to take different approaches we might have not tried.


I wonder where the feet in my shoes will take me today?  David


As always, your thoughts and ideas are always welcome.  Feel free to add your stories and/or comments.

Its just me. Little old me.

Recently I read an article about ADHD.  It spoke to how others perceive you and react to who you are.  If you don't fit in their box, if you don't behave as they do, if you are quirky, you may get shunned. 


    “Some people will only love you as long as you fit in their box. Don’t be afraid to disappoint.”


I have had people that didn't appreciate my sense of humor.  I have been close to people that could not understand how I could walk into a room and forget why I was going there.
I will be talking to Rita out on the porch, see a pretty bird, and completely forget what I was saying.
I have come to understand some of it.  It gets frustrating. 
BUT!!!!   I am proud that I can enjoy the beauty of this world.  I can enjoy the day He has given me.
And I can be proud of me.  I can be happy in my own skin.  Blemishes, faults, and all. 
Its just me.  Little old me.

You have to...

"You have to be willing to let go of the future you had planned to be able to enjoy the life you deserve."  Author unknown
This is so true for me.  I had planned to save the world with groceries.  I felt as though I was destined to be in that industry all my life.  Little did I know that my life could be SO much better working from home with my sweetie.
I wake up, make the coffee, check the computer, Rita wakes up, we talk, and get started.  No commute.  Fourteen steps to my chair.  I love it.
If we had not made the decision to make dolls, I would still be running the grocery rat race.  It was clear to me that needed to end. 
I look up from working and there she is.  The love of my life.  And she chooses to spend the day with me.  Little old me.
By being willing to make a change, my life is immeasurably better.  What's in store for you?
David


As always, comments are encouraged.  Feel free to respond.  :-)

Fire and ants.....

Fire season is upon us!  The last three days have brought triple digit heat, very strong winds, low humidity, and happy-go-lucky arsonists.
The winds have caused some minor damage to our house.  A window panel above the wondow A/C unit blew out.  Quite forcefully.  Thank God for duct tape!
The media are covering some of the many fires in and around Southern California.  Its crazy out there.  Dozens of homes are gone.  Just plain gone.  Everything.  Lives are shattered.  Hopefully these folks are resilient.  I know that people come together in times of disaster.  They rebuild, but they will never be the same.
This scares the daylights out of me.  Rita and I live in the middle of a wildlife refuge.  We are in a very small group of homes, surrounded by brush and vegetation.  A fire could roar through all that in minutes.
And then there are ants.  I hate 'em.  Ugh.  With the high heat, they move in for the summer.  They get all over the kitchen.  I do my best to keep it clean, but they can find the tiniest little thing and feed on it.  A pain in the kiester.  Damn.
If I have to choose, I'll take the ants.  At least I will still have a home when I clean up.  I am grateful.
David

Who am I?

A while back it struck me that there had been a major shift in my identity.  No, my ID still had the same name, but the description of David had gone through a major metamorphosis.
I was the grocery man.  Competent, capable.  I loved it.  I was good at it.  It gave my life meaning.
I always lived in the shadow of my father.  I was expected to be a good businessman.  At least that was what I perceived.  Now, I think, Dad would have been happy for me as long as I was good at what I did and was happy.  That's how I am with my boys.
My identity was the big guy.  When somebody needed to move, they called Big Dave to move the refrigerator and piano.  That and work took its toll on my back.  Now I am lucky to take out the garbage.
Now, my identity has changed.  I am still husband and father, but I am a seamster.  Proudly.  It took me a while to come to terms with that.
Here is this 6' 6" really BIG man, that makes doll dresses.  Me.  Making doll dresses.  Go figure.  As it turns out, I am pretty good at it.  I enjoy it. 
I can take raw materials and put them together in such a way that comes out pretty and useful.  People like it.  Mine will compare to just about anybody's. 
My outfits can help sell a doll!  They can make our dolls stand out from the pack.  It turns out I have a pretty good eye for it too.
I guess what this comes down to is that we have to be able to use our talents in ways that you can't imagine.  You never know what God has in store for us.  You just never know.
My outfits are all over the world by now being enjoyed by many of our customers.  I like that.
What's in store for you?


As always, comments and responses are always welcome.  David.

A letter to Mom on Mother's Day

Hi Mom.
Its been a while since we spoke last.  You passed from this earth about five years ago.  Seems like forever.  Seems like yesterday.
Remembrances are all I have.  But the bottom line is that you loved me.  Period.  I know there were times I worried you.  I am sure there were times you got angry or frustrated with me.  But.  You loved me.
I remember one night you came to check on me in the little house in Norco.  I had done something wrong (I don't remember, grades, whatever), and I was afraid to tell Dad. 
You were sympathetic, but you helped me do the right thing and talk to him.  Its not that I was afraid of Dad, I just didn't want to disappoint him.
You, however, were the parent I could turn to.  You were the one that cared for me when I was sick.  Not that Dad didn't, but you were the primary one.  When I had a fever, you were at my bedside.  When I was just plain down and out, you were the one to buy me comic books.  I loved that.
You made us slumgullion, Dad's term for whatever noodle enhanced, budget stretching, leftover using concoction you came up with in the electric skillet.  I loved that stuff.
You, my dear mother, encouraged me to learn to cook.  It has served me well.  It is something I can do well, I give my love to others through my own concoctions.  It gives me great pleasure.
I watched you make bread.  You showed me how to knead.  The smell of the yeast was heavenly. 
Then, you let me take the reins in the kitchen.  I found the recipe for Swedish Tea Rings in the Betty Crocker cookbook, the one with pictures. 
I made a God-awful mess.  The floor, sink, stove, and anything nearby was covered with flour.
But I succeeded.  I made several tea rings for family.  I got rave reviews.  I felt good about myself in a way I hadn't before.  I learned to give love, to be a caretaker from you.  I cherish that.
Now that you are in heaven, I just wonder what is in store when I get there.  I wonder if I get to cook there too.  I would love to be a part of the team that puts that heavenly feast upon God's table.  Who knows.  But I will be there. 
I can't wait to see you again.  I want so desperately to get a hug from you.
As I write this, the tears are flowing, the snot is running, my heart is regretting not spending more time with you.  I miss you.  Hugs.
Happy Mother's Day. 
David

perseverance

Recently Rita and I have had a pretty serious downturn in our business.  We are scrambling to gin up some cash flow.  Hard times seem to be always waiting at our door.  Sometimes scrambling for a couple of bucks can hurt you down the road.  Hard to figure out.
Today I read of a young man from Princeton that did some research into his family, specifically his parents and grandparents.  One of his professors had assumed he was privileged because he was Jewish.  The professor had implied he could not have anything to say to minorities because he didn't know their struggle or their lot in life. 
What he found about his grandparents was that his grandmother had survived the Bergen-Gelson death camp in World War II.  She had been forced into hard labor for two or three years, watching her family and friends all be murdered.  She weighed eighty pounds.
His grandfather had escaped to Russia to be confined to their horrid and brutal work camps in Siberia during the war.  When the war ended, they were liberated and traveled to America to start a new life.  Ameica is where his grandparents met.
His grandfather began a wicker basket company, working long hard hours every day to make enough to support them.  He didn't complain about the long hours, the pittance of money he made, the tough conditions they were in, because they had freedom.  They could go to Synagogue without fear.
They raised a family, sent them to school, in the hopes their children would know a better life.
Their son, this young man's father, graduated from community college, got a job with a good company, and made enough money to send his children to a private jewish school.  His father worked long hard hours and was proud of his family.  They never were able to afford a vacation, but they lived reasonably well.
The point of his story was that we should not assume we all know of one anothers troubles, or if their life is easy.  We all have our stories, and we should not assume.
But, a point I got out of this article was, this young man's grandfather spoke of his times of trouble running his wicker basket business.  He said, "I survived Hitler.  Some business problems are going to ruin me?"
This put my business problems all in perspective. We will persevere and survive. Dammit.  David

Yesterday

Wow.  Yesterday's blog I wrote with hope and anticipation.  I was choosing to take charge of my destiny. 
Yesterday turned out to be a tough one.  Things did not go as I planned. 
Pretty much got me down.  Having a tough time getting through it.
Yet.
I am still in charge of my destiny.  I can still choose to be happy.  I can still flirt with my wife (didn't really do that yesterday, an opportunity missed).
As I said yesterday,
Today is precious.  Its my day.  I choose to enjoy it.  This day.  David

This day...

Today, this day, I will make mine.  It is mine to do with as I please.
I can do what I want with it.  I can choose to be noble.  I can choose to be self destructive.  I can choose to be mean.  It is my day the Lord has given me.  My choice.
Oh!  The possibilities!  I can go on an adventure!  I can read a book!  I can stay home and work to make my life better.
I can sit on my lard butt and do nothing.  The choices seem endless.
I can call my kids today!  I can enjoy the morning sun.  I can revel in mundane and see, even there, God's hand.  I can kiss my wife.
I can flirt with her.  I can ignore her.  I can cuss up a storm if I wish.  Or I can respect her wishes (and also respect myself) and not spout nastiness.
I can slander another person.  Or, I can lift them up.  I can talk like I know everything, or I can listen.
Today, I choose to be kind.  I choose to be loving.  I choose to listen.  I choose to talk to my kids.
I choose.  I am in charge of my destiny.
So often, I live my life doing what I think I am supposed to do, what others have said I should do. 
It is my life. 
How much of my life have I wasted?
Today is precious.  Its my day.  I choose to enjoy it.  This day.  David

Remembrances

I have strived to keep politics out of this blog.  I want it to be about daily life.  But today, I beg your indulgence.  Its important.
Many people are afraid to look at the past.  To look at the human conditions and frailties.  To see the horrors that have been perpetrated by man upon other men (and women and children) is often beyond comprehension.
There are so many examples, I don't know where to begin.  The crusades.  Uganda.  Iran's gassing of the Kurds.  The American slaughter of the American Indians.  More recently, Sudan gassing their political rivals.  The list goes on and on.
Today is holocaust remembrance day.  Six million Jews exterminated.  "Exterminated" seems too polite of a word.  Even "gassed, shot, stabbed, abused, raped, humiliated" seems too polite.  How about murdered.  Plain and simple.
In high school (1972) I read Elie Weisel's book entitled, "Dawn."  A brief, poignant account of the holocaust.  It has stuck with me all my life.
If nothing else, that book gave me a distrust of all politicians.  All of them.  When a person is in charge of another person, has control, their true character can come through.  We see it over and over.  Abuses can run rampant.
So forgive me today, as I run the events of the day through that filter.  Have we learned? 
A quote I learned long ago from my parents, "Power corrupts.  Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
This is why the framers of the American constitution had three equal levels of government.  Each was to watch the other.  To keep them honest.  It seems as though that is being corrupted.  We must stand strong against corruption.  And learn from the past.  David

Today

Today promises to be a good day.  I feel good.  I have much to do.  And I get to spend it with my sweetie.
Trash day.  Shipping day (four to ship out today!).  Build dolls day (2).  Maybe picture day.
The weather should be pretty nice.  Clear skies and warming.
Maybe, just maybe, I can get it all done.
I like busy days.  It gives me meaning and purpose.
Looking forward to it.
David

munchies.....

Eden

Introducing Eden sculpted by Marissa May and reborned by Rita Meese.  She is a beautiful example of what we do here at Little Darlins Nursery.  She will be available at:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=121326556709&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

The auction start time is 4:45 PST.   Thanks for looking!  David

What a difference seventy years can make

Last night, I read and article about an elderly couple in Nashport Ohio.  These two fell in love, eloped, and got married.  They were married seventy years.  Now, to get a perspective, I am only fifty eight years old.  They got married twelve years before I was born.  Sometimes I feel old at this age!
Here is the text:

NASHPORT, Ohio (AP) — A couple who held hands at breakfast every morning even after 70 years of marriage have died 15 hours apart.

Helen Felumlee, of Nashport, died at 92 on April 12. Her husband, 91-year-old Kenneth Felumlee, died the next morning.

The couple's eight children say the two had been inseparable since meeting as teenagers, once sharing the bottom of a bunk bed on a ferry rather than sleeping one night apart, the Zanesville Times Recorder reported (http://ohne.ws/1in7erG).

They remained deeply in love until the very end, even eating breakfast together while holding hands, said their daughter, Linda Cody.

"We knew when one went, the other was going to go," she said.

According to Cody, about 12 hours after Helen died, Kenneth looked at his children and said, "Mom's dead." He quickly began to fade and was surrounded by 24 of his closest family members and friends when he died the next morning.

View gallery

In this photo from the early 1940s provided by Dick Felumlee, Kenneth and Helen Felumlee of Nashport …

"He was ready," Cody said. "He just didn't want to leave her here by herself."
Son Dick Felumlee said his parents died of old age, surrounded by family.
"At Dad's bed we were singing his favorite hymns, reading scriptures and praying with him," he told The Associated Press in an email. "It was a going away party, and we know he loved it."
The pair had known each other for several years when they eloped in Newport, Ky., across the Ohio River from Cincinnati, on Feb. 20, 1944. At two days shy of his 21st birthday, Kenneth — who went by Kenny — was too young to marry in Ohio.
"He couldn't wait," son Jim Felumlee said.

View gallery

In this Dec. 29, 2012, photo provided by Dick Felumlee, Kenneth and Helen Felumlee, seated, of Nashp …

Kenneth worked as a railroad car inspector and mechanic before becoming a mail carrier for the Nashport Post Office. He was active in his Nashport-Irville United Methodist Church as a Sunday school teacher.

Helen stayed at home, not only cooking and cleaning for her own family but also for other families in need in the area. She taught Sunday school, too, but was known more for her greeting card ministry, sending cards for birthdays, sympathy and the holidays to everyone in her community, each with a personal note inside.

"She kept Hallmark in business," daughter-in-law Debbie Felumlee joked.
When Kenneth retired in 1983 and the children began to leave the house, the Felumlees began to explore their love of travel, visiting almost all 50 states by bus.
"He didn't want to fly anywhere because you couldn't see anything as you were going," Jim Felumlee said.
Although both experienced declining health in recent years, Cody said, each tried to stay strong for the other.

"That's what kept them going," she said.

This made me cry.  Every day I tell Rita, "thank you for spending another day with me."  I am so blessed that she decided to be with me.  She didn't have to.  But she did and still does.  I am grateful.


To be fair, this is my source: http://news.yahoo.com/ohio-couple-married-70-years-die-15-hours-145159516.html

lost in the translation

In our reborn doll business, we sell many dolls all over the world.  I have found that translating into different languages can be fraught with peril.
For example, eye colors.  There are many different shades of blue.  Cornflower, water sapphire, newborn deep blue sky to name a few.
These often don't translate well. 
The one thing I have not been able to figure out is bangs.  Bangs.  Translate this word into other languages and it comes up with explosions or loud noises.  We try to use pictures whenever possible, but it can be tricky.
No wonder international diplomacy can be so tricky.  I hope God watches over those translators for the diplomats and international leaders.  Scary how international relations can rest upon something so very risky.
David

Him

In this day and age, we see all kinds of atheist banter.  It is proclaimed from on high there is no God.  It is even in our capitol buildings all in the name of fairness.  Okay fine.  Have your say.  But here is mine.
Today is Good Friday.  For those of you who do not know, today is the day we Christians celebrate the death of Christ.  We celebrate his death.  The death of our King.  Go figure.  You would think we would want Him alive.
His death was foretold in the Old Testament. 
He was born of a virgin birth.
He was sinless.
He healed.
He gave sight to the blind.
He gave hearing to the deaf.
He gave life to Lazarus.
He walked upon water.  Really.
He turned water into wine.
He made those that did not believe afraid.
They killed Him in the worst way.
They tortured Him.
They humiliated Him.
They forced a crown of thorns on His head.
They stabbed Him in His side.
They forced Him to carry his own cross through the streets to be mocked.
They nailed Him to the cross. 
Nails in His hands and feet.
Nails.  Big ones.
He was left to die of blood loss and exposure.
And He forgave them.
After all that, He forgave them.
And He died.
He was buried in a tomb.
Three days later, He was risen to be seated at the right hand of God.
And He forgave me.  He loves me.
And he can forgive you.  He loves you too.
I hope this helps.  David

Love me or leave me....

One of the things I first told my sweetie as we were first getting to know each other, "I am who I am.
Love me or leave me, just don't bore me."  For me this was a sign of strength.  I accepted who I was, and was not going to change in order to be loved.  This is it.  Just me.
Luckily Rita liked what she saw.  She loved me for who I was.  Pretty amazing.
I write of this in the past tense because I have changed over the years.  Immensely.  But my change came from within, because I wanted to.  I wanted to become a better man for her.
Yesterday I wrote of my sarcastic wit.  That turned out to be harmful to our relationship.  So, one day at a time, I will work on that.  For me and for Rita.  That is a very healthy attitude.
I want to be a better man.  For myself, and for her.
To summarize, Rita loved me for who I was, but I want to be more.  We all change over the years, its best to change in positive ways.  David

Sarcasm

One of the things I admire most about my dad was he said what he meant and meant what he said.  Added to that, he was not hurtful.  He was careful to not hurt feelings, yet could get his point across.  He could be very direct in a kind way.  I want that.
Yesterday my sweetheart Rita brought up a few things I have been doing.  I can be pretty sarcastic at times.  I learned this as a matter of survival in my previous marriage.  It became a oneupsmanship competition.  It was a way for me to save face.  It became almost habit.
Sarcasm caused people at work to stay away from me.  If they would do something, my attempt at humor would cause them to be embarrassed.  I looked like the funny guy for a moment, they felt worse for a long time.  After a while they would stay away.
So, today I did some research.  I found an article on the effects of sarcasm.  It wasn't pretty.  If someone is already stressed, sad, lonely, etc. and faced with my dose of sarcasm, it made things even worse.  All for me to look funny for a moment.  Here is a quote:
"Though it’s often camouflaged as humor, sarcasm is really just a convenient way for people to express hurt feelings, criticize others, or disapprove of some action without actually coming out and saying what’s on their minds."
Powerful stuff.  I need to say what is on my mind, in a kind way.  Period.  Like Dad.  Another quote:
"When you resort to sarcasm to get a point across in a disguised manner, it demonstrates a lack of conviction and courage to say what you really mean. Although an occasional sarcastic remark may seem harmless, remember that people judge your character every day by what you say as well as how you act. The collective result of those judgments is your reputation."
I taught my kids sarcasm.  I am sure I hurt some people all while trying to be funny. 
It has been said the greatest weapon we have is our mouth.  In a moment we can hurt feelings, cause anger and resentment, and build distrust. 
I don't like that about myself.  This article also states:
"Keep a mental or written list of the reactions and consequences you notice when those around you are the target of sarcasm. This awareness alone will be a powerful motivator to change your own behavior.
Think before you speak. Considering how your words will be received is a very effective way to monitor your speech.
Enlist a trusted friend or partner who is willing to enter a sarcasm-free zone with you.  Agree that you will hold each other accountable when you hear the other person using sarcasm. "
I do not want my reputation to be some that hurts, but someone to say what he means.  To be someone people can trust.  I'm going to work on it.  One day at a time.  David

Mmmm......

One more time, a big fat guy talking about food.  Not just any food, manna from heaven. 
For the most part, I like most of it.  Some of it I love.  I am motivated by a good sandwich.  Or spaghetti.  Or meatloaf.  Or a really good salad.  Or a pickle.  You get the idea. 
Last night I had a new twist on an old favorite.  My sweetheart made fried chicken.  I have always loved her fried chicken.  It was the best.  Until now.
She did her magic, using panko bread crumbs.  I don't know all the details, but she says she remembers how, and it was really easy.  All I know was that first bite made my eyes roll.  Ecstasy.
Crunchy, sweet, salty, chicken-y, tender morsels of yum.  Holy cow.
The Good Lord sure must love me.  He sent me this wonderful woman that loves me, puts up with me, and makes this epicurean delight.  My mouth will never be the same. 
Once again, thanks Jesus.  David

Three things.....

This time of year often brings slow sales.  We expect it.  After Christmas people watch their pocketbook a little more closely.  Usually though, things pick up a bit in April.  Not this time.
In order to bring in more business, we try innovation, and new marketing concepts.  By doing that, we hopefully stir some interest in our customers.  We try to get some excitement going.
Lately we have put out some dolls on auction with a ninety-nine cent starting price.  It doesn't usually bring in big money, but usually we break even and it brings people into our store.  Sometimes a family that can't really afford one of our dolls is able to get one.  Recently we sent one of these to a family in Canada. 
On a quiet Sunday morning, we got a phone call from the mom.  They were amazed and thrilled.  It was such a boost to our morale.  Rita smiled all day. 
The Good Lord has His ways.  He has his plans.  Not me.  I can make plans, but if it doesn't jive with His, it probably won't happen.  Or it will fall flat. 
Looking back at times like this, we have had many heartwarming stories like this.  It seems like He is a pretty smart guy.
Recently, I saw an interview with a man that had been wrongly convicted of murdering his wife.  After twenty-five years of incarceration, losing his wife, losing those years of watching his son grow up, he used that time for serious introspection.  He used that time to counsel other inmates.  He found a tremendous deep faith.
After his release he said there were three things he learned.  One, God is real.  He is smarter than all of us.  And He loves us.
After that, what else matters? 
So, we make dolls, and bless lives.  We live His plan.  And its pretty darned good.  I am privileged to be a part of His plan.  Thanks Jesus.  David

I was nearly a seventh grade dropout.....

A couple of days ago, I met a family that bought a doll from us.  They live in San Bernardino.  The little girls doll needed a touch up.  This doll was a reward for maintaining good grades for three years.  She got straight A's for three years!  I can't imagine being in seventh grade and doing that well.  My seventh grade experience was quite different from hers.  But I digress.
My point here is that I remember realizing, later in life, that I love to learn new things.  I love reading about new stuff.  I am constantly amazed at the human potential.  An example was seeing the International Space Station orbiting the earth from my back porch.  Only a dream a few years ago.  It was fantasy.
I love to learn of the world around me.  I enjoy reading about people.  Some I like, some I don't.  But I learn from each life. 
There is an old quote that I cannot remember verbatim, but essentially is says "An unexamined life has no meaning."  In other words, we should all learn from one another.  We learn from triumphs and travails.  This is one of the key elements that separate us from other species.  We learn to not repeat mistakes (some of us take longer than others to learn).  We learn what worked and repeat it.  We improve upon it.
We build hospitals.  We develop new medicines.  We build better and better widgets.  Just look at the telephone.  Now a tiny device that fits in our pocket, not only makes phone calls, but takes pictures, and goes on the internet.  We are the only species to have made our lives better by innovation, experimentation, and tenacity.
I am grateful God has made me a human.  I love to learn.  I enjoy seeing others learn.  It gladdens my heart when a seventh grade girl can achieve so much.  It gives me hope.  David

Faith and perseverance

Recently our doll making business has run into a dry spell.  Having been gainfully employed for thirty-five years I enjoyed a paycheck.  Every week I got paid.  Go to work, get paid.
Now, being self-employed, provides me a vastly different perspective of business.  If your product or service doesn't sell, the bills don't get paid.  The pantry and freezer dwindle.  Worries intensify.  We begin to pray more (isn't that what we all do, wait until there are problems to really communicate with God?). 
Time after time, Rita and I have run into dry spells.  We would find wood branches on the side of the road that I could bring home, cut up, and heat the house.  We pinch every penny.  But time after time the Good Lord helps us through.  Over and over.  He will help us again. 
But, I need to be more faithful.  I need to give more of myself.  I need to be more Christ-like.  It is all part of His grand design.  That we should go through trials that bring us closer to Him, that teach us humility, that help us to be better people.
Our money troubles are NOTHING like some other peoples.  I need to be more grateful.  I need to be more aware that all our "riches" come from God.  They are all blessings from Him. 
Our talents, our home, the very coffee in my cup, come from Him.
I can count on Him.  And I am grateful.  David

wrinkles

AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!
I looked in the mirror.  What happened?  Dang!  My baby face is of a grumpy old man!  Skin sags here and there.  Wrinkles!  Crows feet!  I think it happened overnight.  Must be a virus.
I realize aging is just a fact of life.  I kind of like it.  But I wasn't prepared for the face to change.  Holy cow.
But, here I am.  I don't look too bad for fifty-eight I guess.  I can still smile, laugh, get excited, get fussy, enjoy life.  So I can't complain.
The aches and pains are definitely there.  Getting up in the morning is a bit different than when I was twenty years younger. 
I have a much different perspective than I did then.  I have to watch everything I eat.  Manage my salt and fat intake.  And don't get me started on fiber.  So I watch my cholesterol, my blood pressure, my weight (I have plenty of that), the amount of sleep I get, and on and on.
But along with that is the fun part.  Farts can get really hilarious!  People ask me if I need help to the car.  6' 6" tall and they ask me if I want help.  Very nice of them, but generally, I can do it, thanks.
My hair line receded very quickly when I was in my early twenties.  I started shaving the "cul-de-sac" when I was twenty-eight.  Never looked back.  Makes my hair very easy to part.  Still don't get discounts at the barber though.
I used to be the guy people would call to move their refrigerator.  Not anymore!  Those days are long gone.  The old spine just ain't what it used to be.
My hands got old somewhere.  They are lumpy.  I look at them and wonder when that happened.  Must have been looking the other way.
Age has snuck up on me.  Sneaky little bastard.  But I intend to live life to the fullest.  I want to talk to my kids more.  I need to call my friend Larry.  I need to drink better coffee.  I love shrimp.
I need to eat more fish tacos.  I need to tell more jokes.  I love dumb jokes.
Age is coming.  I can't help it.  But I intend to fight it all the way.  I intend to go out yelling, "wahoo!"  David

mooshy stuff

Warning: you are about to read mooshy stuff.  If you do not want mooshy stuff, turn off your computer, and close your eyes. 


A shout-out!  Hooray!  Whoopee!  Bingo Bango Bongo!  Super duper Happy Birthday to the love of my life, my sweetie, my Rita.  Baby girl, sweetie, sugar plum and all that mushy rot that we say to one another but not in public.
We are with one another 24/7.  We talk, work, worry, plan, tease, fuss with each other.  I can't imagine it with anyone else.  I can't imagine.  Just you.  Nobody else.
You are my whole world.  The few times I go to the store alone, I can't wait to get home.
You make me laugh. 
You figure out the detective show WAY before I do.  You got some smarts there kiddo.
You are my best friend.
Sometimes it seems you are my only friend.
I love growing old with you.  We try to keep each other young, but old age still advances.  I like it with you. 
I love sitting on the porch and drinking our coffee. 
We talk.  Well mostly you, but I get to say things once in a while.  And you listen.  You really listen.
It is a choice we both make each day.  You choose to spend the day with me.  You choose to love me.  You choose me. 
I love you so much it hurts sometimes.  I have been sucker punched by cupid.  It is incurable.  And I don't ever want it to change.
You are stuck with me babe.  Happy birthday!

Ain't nuthin to it....

Last night Rita and I watched "The Voice."  There was a young country boy that was facing a singing challenge from his mentor.  The rehearsals were done, he knew the lyrics, he knew what was expected.  He had spent the whole week perfecting his craft. 
It was just about time to sing for the judges.  Facing his supportive family he said, "Ain't nuthin to it but to do it!"
That little phrase seemed kind of profound.  Simple.  But it says it all.  You can prepare, plan, and strategize all you want, but there comes a time when performing counts.  When you make it happen.  When you give it your best shot.  Win or lose, succeed or fail, its time.
If you don't do it, you will never know.  You will never learn and grow. 
It reminds me of a poster that asked, "What could you accomplish if you knew you could not fail?"  Books have been written about facing your fears, using those butterflies in your stomach to propel you.  We humans are so very different from the other species on this planet.  We strive to do better, we compete, we push ourselves to the limit.  We build hospitals.  We race down icy luges at ungodly speeds to see how fast we can go.  We do the first heart transplant.  We climb that mountain to see the view from the top.  We swim the English channel.  We do the unthinkable.  No other animal does that. 
I am amazed by all we, the human species, have accomplished in my lifetime.  We landed on the moon at a time when computers took up whole buildings.  We have landed on Mars and explored its surface.  We have looked so deep into space it is well past my ability to fathom.  We found planets outside our solar system! 
Our ability to achieve, to persevere, to face the odds, is what makes us unique.  While you can look at wars, corruption, and other evil, its all part of the human package.  But we keep achieving more, going faster, and building taller buildings in spite of all that.
As for myself, my fears do hold me back from time to time.  But I see my human counterparts doing all this and I realize I can do more.  I am inspired. 
I have spent my life preparing.  I have spent my life learning.  I have spent my life hoping.  Now is the time.  Now is the moment. 
"Ain't nuthin to it but to do it!"  David

Looking in the mirror

I found this on facebook.  Pretty much sums it up for me.


Everything you do is based on the choices you make.  It's not your parent, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame.  You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. 


Period.


Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?  David

two by fours

Now and then I find myself realizing just how much of a curmudgeon I can be.  As I get older I am more certain of what I like, what I want, how things should be, etc. etc.
Gets pretty tough to be around.  No I don't like that.  I want this.  We should do this not that.  You get the idea. 
It makes it pretty hard to get a word in edgewise when the person you love doesn't listen.  It makes it tough when you feel your thoughts, wants, needs are not considered.
I get that.  I want my thoughts, wants, needs considered too. 
I can be pretty demonstrative.  I don't want to do that.  I spent many years where my wants and needs were totally disregarded and even belittled.
So.  Today.  I am going to work on that.  I want to listen more.  I WANT to know what my sweetheart wants and needs.  Its important to me.  She is important to me.
This is where the two by four comes into play.  Now and then, I need a virtual (not real) two by four up side the head. 
If you are wondering if Rita and I had some big argument, not even close.  She was down and upset, and we talked.  But it became clear to me that I need to listen more. 
The good Lord gives us what we need.  Rita is just what I need.  And I need to cherish, honor, and listen to her more.  What an opportunity!  David